Offside

 

Was I away

the day they taught the rules

and regulations?

Or was I just not listening?    

Looking and not seeing?

Glazed and completely non-engaged

by talk of tactics, strategy,

positioning and passing?

Perhaps.

 

Or was I feeling sorry

for my thin and thirsty pumps,

for my skinless shins,

for my tiny-skirted body

turning purple

on the winter-weathered chilling fields of horror?

Whatever.

 

I was never in the right place,

always in the player's way,

inside outside offside wrong side,

unable to manipulate the pain-shaped stick

or see the D line, sidelines, centre circle box lines

underneath the sleet and snowy drifts.

 

Screamed at.

Picked last.

Letting down the team.

Teacher despairing of a girl preferring books

to a backline

every time,

words to hypothermia,

letters to competitive

physical sports,

to a turf war I never even wanted.

Hockey wasn't jolly fun at all

 

but offside is an art form now.

 

 

NaPoWriMo2018

◄ Charity Begins At Home

A Little Smash of Plaster ►

Comments

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Laura Taylor

Tue 17th Apr 2018 13:01

Blimey Trev - rugby safer?! If only they had let us play pool in school, I would have done alright at sports 😀

Haha Cathy - confusing much?! Mmm thank you for that image 😀 xx

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Cathy

Tue 17th Apr 2018 08:36

Sorry Laura R W is me signing in under my husband's pseudonym by mistake x

Richard Wainwright

Mon 16th Apr 2018 19:08

What did I do to deserve a life time of football?! I spawned sporty sons from sporty sperm! Nice one mucker. xxxx

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Trevor Alexander

Mon 16th Apr 2018 17:56

Great! I used to like games, but I took one look at hockey and decided rugby was safer!

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Laura Taylor

Mon 16th Apr 2018 16:25

Ha cheers!

Hehe nice one Pat! I 'forgot' my kit week in, week out. I loathed team games. I couldn't catch, throw, hit anything and it was just another opportunity to be bullied!

I discovered that if you took shorthand and typing in the 4th year, you could completely drop PE. Brill. Bonus is that I can still touch type all these years later 😀

Pat Hughes

Mon 16th Apr 2018 14:38

I love it!
I was never a fan of sports, I hid in the school library until the P.E teacher hunted me down,got caned for it and don't regret it for a second.

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Brian Maryon

Mon 16th Apr 2018 14:02

Jolly hockey sticks Arrrabella!

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Laura Taylor

Mon 16th Apr 2018 13:41

11th poem for NaPoWriMo 2018 – poem about a sport or game.

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