stew-pid food for thought poem

I was his tart

he always called me honey

he was soo tasty

the apple of my eye

and cool as a cucumber


but recently he frittered his dough away

on a souped-up banger

I thought he was crackers!

and told him I didn't think

he was using his loaf

that it was a bit of a lemon

the brakes were crumby

and there was something fishy

about the documents

not to mention he couldn't drive for toffee!


and consequently

we ended up in a terrible jam

the car was burnt to a crisp

we would have has our chips

had it not been for a brave beefy fireman

saving our bacon,


So I thought, thats it!

this takes the biscuit!

I have to get away from this nut

no matter how much he tries to butter me up

-I should cocoa!


Since our separation

I've heard he's doing porridge.

And me?


I'm raisin a toast

to my newfound freedom

with the help of a dairy owner.


From now on

my life will be as smooth as cream

because I'm going to milk him

for all he's worth

and before he gets the chance

to put a bun in my oven!

◄ as good as they come if not better ( for Jemima )

me about me ►


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Raj Ferds

Sun 22nd Jul 2018 07:39

Rose!!!!! It's been a while.
I have recently wandered off doing different things.
Hope you are well my angel.

Hopefully, a spark of inspiration will penetrate my mind and I should post a new piece here soon.

Raj xxx

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Rose Casserley

Sat 21st Jul 2018 23:27

guys, I shan't mince my words I'll just say thanks for the delicious comments. As for those who are curious as to the end Farmer Fatale (Raj) scenario, let's just say I had my cake and ate it-inclusive of unsucked nipples (P&S)

cheers y'all!

Rose ?

Big Sal

Thu 28th Jun 2018 18:48

Highly enjoyed your wit and flowing puns. You really made it fit well and did a great job to make it all come together.?

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Raj Ferds

Sun 4th Mar 2018 09:47

Ha haha , you never fail to entertain Rose.

That's excellent humour. Do let us know how it goes with Farmer Fatale.

Raj xx

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Sat 3rd Mar 2018 21:08

we have feasted our mince pies on your very clever and most digestible slice of humour and found it very much to our tastes.
Hows life with the dairy owner going? will we hear the sound of nipple sucking any time now Rose? ;0) ;0) oh! so funny!

P&S xx

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Sat 3rd Mar 2018 17:17

alimentary inventive Rose! ingenious even!

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Trevor Alexander

Sat 3rd Mar 2018 12:54

I guess this steaks a claim for the Blue Riband of this week's crop. Nice as apple pie. Very witty - really enjoyed this. ?

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Brian Maryon

Thu 1st Mar 2018 15:21

Hi Rose I've chewed it over but I'm not sure it's my cup of tea!!! Well done though

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