“Look!” said MP for Ashford, Damian Green,

“those images I have never, ever seen.

I’m respectable, important and high-falutin’,

besides, I rarely do my own computing”


 “The accusations I categorically deny.”

He said, all smug grin and steely eyes,

“The constabulary are lying” he claimed with scorn,

“I mean, do I look like a man who’d be into porn?”


“Listen!” said Green “I’m a member of the cabinet,

I have no time to get caught on the net.

Where’s the evidence? Where’s the proof?

Inspector Bob Quick isn’t quite quick enough”


“All of this on top of claims by a certain Ms Maltby,

who’s evidence I believe to be flimsy and faulty.

Sexual harassment? That’s not my style

I’m removed from that crassness by a country mile.


“Look!” said Damian, “Listen to me now,

this doesn’t happen to one so high brow.

My colleagues back at the house believe my story

and I’ll come out of this all awash with glory”


But an enquiry pursued and findings were sent,

though no proof remained of his hard drives content,

no evidence of porn could now be seen;

It’s unknown if he relieved himself over the screen.


But he’d lied to the suits back at the house,

“of this he is guilty without a shadow of doubt”,

stated the head of the pornographic enquiry,

the penny then dropped, the house had to agree.


So the minster of the treasury got stripped of his title

and the political privilege to which he’d been entitled,

and it’s doubtful he’ll ever treasure the day

that his horn got him sacked by Theresa May.




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M.C. Newberry

Fri 9th Feb 2018 16:55

One can only wonder what reasons were employed to keep
this evidence of misuse of what appears to have been publicly funded office equipment quiet at the time. Who
gave the orders and why? Any ownership of a private PC
at the government location does not seem relevant to a
high profile police visit and enquiry of this sort.
The response from senior officer Bob Quick was apparently
a rebuff to allegations against him, with the added recall of
another officer about what was seen on the item in question
- provided in support of Mr Quick. All in all - very strange
and intriguing. Who said politics is boring?!

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