“Look!” said MP for Ashford, Damian Green,
“those images I have never, ever seen.
I’m respectable, important and high-falutin’,
besides, I rarely do my own computing”
“The accusations I categorically deny.”
He said, all smug grin and steely eyes,
“The constabulary are lying” he claimed with scorn,
“I mean, do I look like a man who’d be into porn?”
“Listen!” said Green “I’m a member of the cabinet,
I have no time to get caught on the net.
Where’s the evidence? Where’s the proof?
Inspector Bob Quick isn’t quite quick enough”
“All of this on top of claims by a certain Ms Maltby,
who’s evidence I believe to be flimsy and faulty.
Sexual harassment? That’s not my style
I’m removed from that crassness by a country mile.
“Look!” said Damian, “Listen to me now,
this doesn’t happen to one so high brow.
My colleagues back at the house believe my story
and I’ll come out of this all awash with glory”
But an enquiry pursued and findings were sent,
though no proof remained of his hard drives content,
no evidence of porn could now be seen;
It’s unknown if he relieved himself over the screen.
But he’d lied to the suits back at the house,
“of this he is guilty without a shadow of doubt”,
stated the head of the pornographic enquiry,
the penny then dropped, the house had to agree.
So the minster of the treasury got stripped of his title
and the political privilege to which he’d been entitled,
and it’s doubtful he’ll ever treasure the day
that his horn got him sacked by Theresa May.