Sickness

It happened once again last night 

While at my my boyfriends place, 

I passed out on the floor 

Colour drained from my face

The ambulance came quickly

While I laid there on my back 

And in the hospital I could feel

Another panic attack

As the nurses put my drip in 

And struggled to take blood

I just sat there sobbing silently 

My friends knew that I would 

The nurse asked what was wrong 

She asked if I was in pain 

But the pain that I was feeling 

Was about justine again 

All I wanted was her there with me

I was scared and felt alone 

I didn't want to be there

But I couldn't just go home

The nurses poked and prodded

When they saw I couldn't stand 

So as I laid there all I wanted

Was for her to hold my hand

I felt so afraid once more

That they'd find something there

I cried and shook and pleaded

But I knew she wouldn't care

And I just kept repeating 

"I just want her here"

 the heartbreak on my friends face

Had never been more clear 

"How could she think I lied"

I screamed, grabbing a bowl quick 

The fact she thought it wasn't true

Was making me feel sick 

"Why is she such a monster?!"

I felt the tears burn my cheek 

This loud and scary hospital

Had never seemed so bleak

So Justine if you're reading this

You must know there was no lie

And if I ever talk to you again 

All I will is ask is "why"

Why would you think it was untrue 

The things we spoke about 

 How after everything we overcame 

Could you have any doubt

I trusted you, you know I did

And now I'm back at the start

The pain now just cannot compare

To the one shook through my heart

-Charlotte

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