Standing Up

I stand before you a changed man
because I popped the bubble she blew
around me. Change what I perceived while
peering through it's oil-slick rainbows.

Outside I see life in its true colour.
I can recognise the bubble around her.
It changes the colour of her motives.
Changes outsiders perception of her.

In the beginning my bubble was clear.
I knew my path, myself and what would be.
She changed that. Oil slowly poured in,
and without perception, altered truth.

Outside life got filtered, and tainted.
My sphere she manipulated with poisons
to alienate me from friends and family
while I believed this was how life was.

Changes, gradual and subtle, they passed
without raising a red flag to halt them.
It became normal to do what she wanted
because that was how life ran smoothly.

Abused, absolutely, can love the abuser
until the shell of their prison breaks
letting in a new reality with hindsight
pre-installed and working to capacity.

Now I can see what others have seen.
It makes me feel foolish, pathetic, weak
by allowing the atrocities to perpetuate
without striking back to break free.

There's the crux of it. It was gradual.
It was normal, everyday life. Why fight?
Fight for what? Her manipulations prevented
me seeing what everyone else talked about.

Bubble shattered in a shower of sparks
the piece re-arrange into a new reality.
It sickens me that so much was unnecessary.
Just a pure, selfish greed to have her way.

Years later she maintains her innocence.
Betraying herself, her motives, her greed
she demanded everything from our marriage;
house, contents, cash and my apology.

She had done no wrong in her reality.
The single male friends were only friends.
The tight rein on accounts, only frugal.
Expensive gifts because she deserved them.

Looking back it was not all a waste of time.
I have two children I am very proud of,
even though one has a reinforced bubble
and refuses to see any other side but hers.

I can now appreciate the unfiltered world.
Expand my horizons and live as I choose.
I am a changed man. The change is not new.
Only the returning of the man I once was.

◄ Head Scream

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