Death Message

 

He hadn’t been ill in the clinical sense

but he had destroyed his soul in search of it

 

He had chased it across deserts and

through

            Labyrinthine

                               Streets

through whore house windows

                                                 with no socks on his feet

 

The Policeman who found his wrung out corpse

rifled his pockets to confirm his thoughts

 

He had a tattoo of a dog on his upper torso

and the key to a deposit box taped in his shoe

 

a picture of a child’s gravestone

and inside a spent wallet

                                        a

                                          picture of 

                                                         you 

 

On the doorstep you crumpled at the finality of words

a kindly neighbour made you some tea

he’d be sorry that it broke you the way that it did

 

                                                                             but happy to see you set free

 

◄ Between Bells

Limp Biscuit ►

Comments

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Wolfgar Miere

Wed 6th Dec 2017 09:23

Thanks SS, Beno and Ray.

Very generous comments indeed. There is quite a bit I could say about death messages, their delivery and their receipt...but that may encroach upon the mawkish, so I'll leave it like this.

Thanks again.

David.

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raypool

Tue 5th Dec 2017 22:29

Wonderful writing David instantly conveying the scene with everything in place like a sculpture that takes the breath from you . Only David can write this way. I love the way it is not mawkish or self indulgent but dramatic in a true sense.

Ray

<Deleted User> (18474)

Tue 5th Dec 2017 06:40

The poem is excellent in my very humble opinion. The way it reads and sounds seem perfect to me. It also lit up my imagination along the way, thinking about the back-story possibilities and the characters.
The message is something I know a lot about unfortunately. It's something I do on a regular basis, and have done for a long time. The final verse captures it very well.
Sorry I didn't comment on your last poem , I wanted to but didn't have time. I enjoyed it very much.
Beno.

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suki spangles

Mon 4th Dec 2017 23:32

Hi David,

This is one of your best yet - and that's saying something. Your reading is also excellent.

Thanks for sharing.

SS

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