rapture

 

after James Tate

 

yes, we caught our breath in the rose garden

to synchronicity it fell as we lay

like ampersand, glistening naked in the moonlight

as a hum of fuzz on a smoky breeze

settled upon your pale thigh

a dandelion wisp, an interloper

announcing the time has come

and so as everything diminished,

as the brume took hold

we clung on to that beautiful seed

up! up! up through the clouds

until you cried for those left below

a pale ocean of sin

🌷 (3)

◄ behind the shadows

rapture 2 ►

Comments

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Stu Buck

Thu 21st Sep 2017 18:48

thanks all, and apologies for being absolutely terrible at responding to these comments.

Martin Elder

Wed 20th Sep 2017 22:47

I love the whole piece but the line that stands out for me is
'settled upon your pale thigh. trouble is I almost feel voyeuristic making that comment. But despite that this poem has a n almost ethereal quality for me.
Nice one Stu

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Colin Hill

Tue 5th Sep 2017 10:04

yes, you got me reaching for the dictionary and searching out James Tate too. I have read so much excellent poetry on WoL today it feels I am doing an Open University degree.

to me this poem is an injection of heroin. The last line sent me scurrying off to YouTube to search out 'Ocean' and 'Pale Blue Eyes' which are both rather excellent Velvet Underground songs.

did Tate ever indulge? He would have been the right age to have lived through that particular era of indulgence in America. Wikipedia appears scant of much bio info.

good stuff Stu - ticked the boxes for me. Col.

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Tom Harding

Tue 5th Sep 2017 00:42

Beautiful wonderful visionary stuff stu

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Graham Sherwood

Mon 4th Sep 2017 18:52

This is as light as that dandelion seed head Stu. I'm glad you're not a capital letter to start each line man too!

A beautifully gentle piece,

Good work!

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Stu Buck

Mon 4th Sep 2017 15:33

hi david. thanks ever so much. james tate is a wonderful poet and i, too, am only just exploring his work.

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Wolfgar Miere

Mon 4th Sep 2017 15:31

Hi Stu,

I am assuming reading James Tate inspired this excellent piece. I knew nothing of his stuff until now.

The use of the words ampersand and brume booted my brain nicely, thanks for that.

I am fascinated by the idea of "The Rapture" and all the ideas it provokes.

The last four lines are inspired, having found salvation and deliverance there is sadness for those left behind, how bitter sweet and ironic, almost as if you could let go the dandelion wisp and fall happily back into the "pale ocean of sin" another great image.

I'd love to see your dreams Stu.

David.

PS, I just read "Fuck the Astronauts"

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