I am here,soft and mellow,cosy in our normality.
We are driving nowhere in particular and there is no need to speak.
Radio Two hums in the background of our relaxed silence.
There are wind turbines standing proud in the fields,blowing kisses at each other.
You admire their usefulness and scold about their ugliness.
I'm quietly scared,I feel their menace as the rotors wrap the wind around themselves.
We drive further and higher,the road shrinks to a lane,
a few scraggy sheep eye us mournfully and my stomach lurches.
You stop the car,admiring the view,close to nature and your idea of God.
My mouth is dry with fear,I see the beauty
and feel the fierceness of the edge of the mountain;
my desire to jump into nothingness.
I can feel my skull splitting against the stone and it feels good.
The radio signal has gone so we play cds to break the silence,
I am still here,soothing myself with your Status Quo tunes,
pretending to be something I'm not