Later

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Later,
because goodbye
might imply
that you will 
be gone
forever.


Goodbye. 
It may signify
never seeing
you again,
Ever.


And I sure
as hell couldn't
handle the pain of that.

 

Not today.
Not tomorrow.
Never.
 

🌷 (6)

◄ Grief

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Comments

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Emer Ni Chorra

Fri 28th Apr 2017 15:34

Thank you all. Most of my earlier pieces are quite short. I have a preference for short poems, both reading and writing them. Only recently I have found myself writing lengthier pieces. They seemed to be more popular with the community here on WOL.

Travis Brow

Fri 28th Apr 2017 07:51

This is great. I like poems like this; interesting but brief.

I want one of those clocks as well.

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Garry Rowlands

Mon 24th Apr 2017 22:05

Short, simple and very strong.

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john netting

Fri 21st Apr 2017 16:46

I think the final 5 words work very well. The poem exists in the present - with the past implied by the fact of a farewell being said. The last stanza expands the meaning, projecting it into the future and thereby amplifying the poem. Also it seems to 'tie up' the emerging rhyme/repetition on forever/ever - very satisfactorily.

Strange how 'later' has arisen as an idiom in recent years, for something in the (possibly long-term) future, not just later in the day.

Your poem makes the same distinction that the French have, between 'adieu = goodbye', and 'au revoir = till we see each other again'.

It's a nice one, Emer! Short but sweet.

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Emer Ni Chorra

Fri 21st Apr 2017 14:18

You are right about the tone, John👍 I must admit I was unsure of the final 5 words. The first half of this piece came easy, it appeared to flow well too however I spent some time finishing up this little piece. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.

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john netting

Fri 21st Apr 2017 08:52

This is a really good poem, Emer. It has a crystalline beauty which I think comes from its fine structure, the way it is crafted. Those simple words carry a great burden of meaning. The tone suggests a thought dashed off as it came into your head, but the evidence of perfect poetic control is everywhere.

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