Well of course he came

to grief what do you expect

stealing a squire’s daughter

like he did albeit they were

wed but without father’s say

so you didn’t do that then


Gad zooks no wonder he ended

up in everyone’s bad books the

toffs close ranks you know they

said he was untrustworthy never

mind they were in love far too big

for his medieval boots they gibed


hard times spent in the prison Fleet

hopeless dreams ahead favours begged

the resounding nays thrust down

but gradually his reputation returns

and then the king thinks he’s earned a

dean ship at the Cathedral of St Pauls


great metaphysical poet they later

claim though what that means who

can say talked about a seven sleepers

den why didn’t he just cite mummy pig

and the six piglets that ended up in

a big bacon buttie with hot dripping


he wrote you-scratch-my-back sort of

poems flattering the influential and rich

that’s exactly what i’d do too if body

and soul depended on it I mean Catholics

back then were vulnerable as recusants you

see not a wee chamber pot in sight


chide my palsy he said when he was

cracking on a bit his lass Ann sounded

nice and their kids though some died

early as they did and all that plague in

town and the big fat rats bladder

emptying into the iffy water works


he was fond of writing epithalamiums or

wedding odes flattering the ego of toff’s

now what was that geezer’s name John

something surname rhymes with gun

wrote love poems and put live rounds

into his missus after dallying with doxies





<Deleted User> (13762)

Wed 29th Mar 2017 08:00

one of those poems that requires a second read if the subject matter is not immediately obvious - for me anyway - until the last stanza. Great stuff Philipos - once I'd twigged. Col

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 28th Mar 2017 12:58

Brilliant! I'm still chuckling. It's so GOOD to see you back on line.

Is that a dig at 'For whom the bell tolls'? Clue me in.

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