The murder at Fleet ditch (Death of a Frenchman)

entry picture

The gnarly dulling chestnut

which nestled as he tumbled,

now rested in a crease of cloth

where pocket debris crumbled.

 

Hard biscuit, theatre tickets, 

a torn café receipt,

the disheveled Houndstooth jacket,

unlabelled, now indiscreet.

 

His fingers, tabac yellow

nails flecked with precious earth,

the last thing which he clung to

for all that he was worth.

 

murder

◄ The shallow poet priests

Klavierstücke ►

Comments

Profile image

Wolfgar Miere

Wed 1st Feb 2017 07:35

Hi Stu,

thanks for your comments, much appreciated. I like your reference and imagining of Montmartre.

David

Profile image

Stu Buck

Tue 31st Jan 2017 11:09

how did i miss this wonderful character study david. a joy to read. i'm immediately taken to an absinthe bar in montmartre. i can see the guys fingers. brilliant.

Travis Brow

Tue 31st Jan 2017 10:53

Hello David, sometimes we get so close to our work that we either lose sight of it, or swear we've got it right. It's a cracking poem; i'm envious...

Profile image

Wolfgar Miere

Fri 27th Jan 2017 14:42

Thanks for reading and your advise Andy.

Kind of weird how I had convinced myself it was aligned OK, and then having changed it I wonder how I ever thought it was right.

Thanks again,

David

Travis Brow

Fri 27th Jan 2017 14:15

This is a good poem David and, at the risk of being an arse, it would be a great poem if you could realign the middle verse so it has the same rhythmic sense as those either side.

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Wed 25th Jan 2017 15:19

It's not so much tiring of a subject, I think it's more that cathartic poetry is the natural course to take at first, and so much more of that is written initially. Then you progress to other ideas. Cathartic stuff still comes back, but it is refreshing for the writer themselves to try new stuff. You can clearly construct narratives and I think you'd have a ball with the ekphrastic stuff.

Profile image

Wolfgar Miere

Wed 25th Jan 2017 15:08

Thanks for reading and comments Laura.

This is a little different for me. To be honest it is refreshing to produce something alternative, I'm sure people tire of subject matter, it probably is good practice to remind myself of that periodically.

I have on occasion used works of art as contemplations when writing, it's a useful tool to concentrate the mind, I should do it more often. I love writing on nature but don't do it enough.

Anyway thanks for your comments and advise, much appreciated.

David.

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Wed 25th Jan 2017 13:52

Interesting departure from your usual kinds of subject matter. Have you considered any other paintings or sculptures etc for ekphrastic poems?

Profile image

Wolfgar Miere

Tue 24th Jan 2017 19:47

I love you Ray, maybe we could have walked those alleys together in another time.

I remember your poem, and other writings about the foreshore and dark places, like you I am absolutely in love with that great broiling city.

David.

Profile image

raypool

Tue 24th Jan 2017 19:43

A fascinating vignette David. I love the fact that it is forensically so detailed without giving any other fleshing out. Quite wonderful for me and something different for you I feel. I wonder like elP if there is some background to this. Coincidentally I wrote a poem called The River Flete last year! As you probably know, there were dark deeds done from some of the taverns further up near Chick Lane - terrible rookeries.

Thanks, so much enjoyed!
Ray

Profile image

elPintor

Tue 24th Jan 2017 18:11

Hi, David,

There must be a back story to this..I'll make one up if you haven't already. I feel each element must be symbolic.

Very vivid and temporal. A great teaser.

elP

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message