I have been experiencing some turbulence in my relationships with people who,
I think, have not been too sensitive to me.
But I’m not going to wear my heart on my sleeve here.
Just a piece of my mind about how the experience has brought me into to some level of understanding.
Like most of the people I met and meeting,
I used to respond to situations, mostly with my feelings.
I assembled my emotional life around the behavior of other people towards me, which empowers them to be more in control of my life.
When someone stepped on my toe,
I would instantly mutter vindictively, cuss that careless passerby and throw a venomous tiger look.
When someone lied to me,
I told him to go to hell, so he could bring the devil a walking poop.
When someone said I looked horrible,
I told her she looked like a hag.
When someone commented I am too thin,
I told her, you are the richest woman walking on earth with the fats and oil she carries in her body.
When someone breaks my heart,
I also smashed his/hers.
But when someone gave me a piece of bread, I gave her something to drink.
When I was told I looked good,
I responded with a similar flattery.
When someone made me laugh,
I exerted effort to make the person happier.