dickhead dog owners pointless dialogue with her defiant dickhead of a dog (for Natasha)

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(Its that dog again!)

 

 

Right you! lets get a few things straight!

first of all,stop licking your bollocks and listen!

no! I won't shake your paw,not after you've paddled through your own sloppy shit,

that I couldn't possibly have picked up!

 

oh,so now you can listen while you roll on your back eh?

I bet if I had a fucking rich tea biscuit in my hand,you'd pay attention,wouldn't you?

 

To think,how I look after you,and the only thanks I get,is when you do things like

diving on my bed and lick my face-at four'o'fucking clock in the morning!

 

yes,I DO know what dropping the lead on the floor,in front of me means

but be sensible! not while I'm in the fucking bath,for fucks sake! 

 

and why oh why do you always,always decide to blow off under the table

just as I am about to have my fucking dinner! 

 

also,fella! ripping the post up is NOT a funny game!

I haven't got a single fucking card to put on the mantlepiece,thanks to you!

 

I'm going to have to think twice about what I will or will NOT

be putting in YOUR Christmas stocking.

(maybe a photograph of the local dogs home might be an idea?)

 

You are supposed to be a dog-right?

so,how is it that when I looked out of the kitchen window yesterday

I saw next doors Alsatian,giving you a good cocoa-shunting?

I could have sworn there was a smile on your drooling mouth!

 

oh yeah,as for my carpets

thanks loads for turning them from shag-pile into fucking hair-pile!

now you know why I don't let you up on my knee

after doing that,it used to take me half an hour to de-fluff myself.

 

What,oh what,am I going to do with you?

ermm.......you like chasing sticks,don't you?

ok,lets see if you can catch this one

the one I've just thrown on the back of that long distance lorry-

-fetch boy! NOT!

BYEEEEEEEE!!!! 

◄ disgustingly discarded

# cauld lang time # ►

Comments

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Rose Casserley

Mon 26th Dec 2016 20:51

A.M. your ? is v/much appreciated-ta for the 'invite' apologies for the 'decline'-gotta girl gang taxi to catch! as in-now!



Rose ?

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Rose Casserley

Thu 22nd Dec 2016 21:15

are you sat comfortably (in your rocking chair) Grandma Nat? then I'll begin..?

although I'm not calling you a dog,I still bet that if I threw a bottle of port in the air,you would soon catch it between your dentures,before it hit the ground!

but,I also bet the fuck that you wouldn't 'fetch' LOL!!

chuffed this tickled yer fancy.

Raving Rose ?+?

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Rose Casserley

Mon 19th Dec 2016 19:58

chuffed it gave a laugh-ta Trev for?...LCPTB me upset? #that'll be the day-ay-ay when I die!#



Rose ????

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Mon 19th Dec 2016 11:23

awwwww! in reality Rose,we bet you are a right softie when it comes to dogs.Hope we ain't wrong!

P&S.xx

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Jemima Jones

Sun 18th Dec 2016 20:40

Rose,that dogs face says it all about being defiant.Had a good laugh at this one.Thank you.Jemima.

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