Not motivated at all

By you

By love

By hate

By anything

I feel like I am waiting for something

Something to happen

Someone to rescue me

No one can save you from yourself

Your mind

There is no more desire

No wanting

Just a state of being there

Am I stuck?

Can I get out to find joy?

Does it exist out there or in me?

Is it something to find or to have?

No one can bring you happiness,

You must find it within yourself.


There are scriptures about God

He is the one to take care of your troubles

To find peace is to let him

Trust in Him to take care of things

But is this so?

Or is this just a belief so one does not take accountability?


You have such a hold over me

I can't let this go

Let yourself go


It's all about relationships isn't it


I can't paint

I can't play guitar

I can't write

All I do is sit here and think of you.

What are you doing?

Are you thinking of me?

Are you writing about your demons?

Do you still feel the same?

I am left to think idly and my head goes crazy looking for answers

And in the night everything is complex

Nothing is simple when I'm not with you

◄ Friday July 12, 2002

Sunday July 14, 2002 ►


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