I Am Your Beautiful

entry picture

 

I am your beautiful

You are my whirling dream

Fingers

Through my long brown hair

Your passion

Holds me

Pinning me to the floor of night

Spread me

I am your

 

Delight

 

 

Enfolding me

Moulding 

One

Within the other

Aching

Mouth to mouth

Aching

Tongue to tongue

 

Beads that jangle

In hair to tangle

Clinging sprayed

A black shroud of silk

Across my pillow

 

 

I am your beautiful 

 

You

Are my love

◄ Baking Bread with Mother

Love Me ►

Comments

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Gus Jonsson

Thu 18th Jun 2009 13:56

This is superb...Love it to bits, I like Steves critique suggestions too.

Well done Wonderful!

Gus X

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Isobel

Mon 15th Jun 2009 07:03

I have read this a number of times and have always hesitated to make a comment. At first I thought it was a poem about sex but on relection, think it speaks more. I'm not sure the poem needs that photo - to me it could be genderless - but I guess that's a question of personal taste.

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clarissa mckone

Mon 15th Jun 2009 04:03

nice poem

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garside

Sun 14th Jun 2009 10:15

Hi Augusta,

i like the flow of this poem and the layout adds to the feel you are conveying

not too sure about beads jangling image - it seems to jar me a bit as i dont feel that it flows with the words before it and makes me feel like the word was used in order that tangle could then be used -

wonder if

Beads that jangle

In hair to tangle

Clinging sprayed

A black shroud of silk

Across my pillow


would be more effective if...

Beads tease in hair
that tangles -
Clinging sprayed -
A black shroud of silk
Across my pillow

steve x

<Deleted User> (6292)

Sun 14th Jun 2009 09:03

Thank you so very much Winston for taking the time to read my poem, I am encouraged.

You look very happy and free from all troubles sat upon your boat, what a lovely life that must be.

Augusta x

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winston plowes

Sun 14th Jun 2009 00:21

liked this, Winston.

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