Too Much Too Soon

A young lad

Strained his neck

Seeing something shine

Caught in the leaves

Of an old oak tree.

A challenge indeed.

He advanced with care

Knowing the danger

Of a snapping branch,

Focused like a hawk.

His dad spoke

In his head,

"He made a killing that bloke.

Are ya gonna eat that?"

Then with a smile,

"Seen yer girlfriend today?"

Dad went quiet

As the lad reached out.

Shiny thing didn't want to move.

A hand was scraped

On leafy teeth.

A left shoe came loose.

"All comes to he who waits,"

That's what dad says.

And after a struggle

He got it.

But all excitement

And joy dispersed

As he realised

It was just

A chocolate coin

With the gold wrapping

Still on.

The chocolate was warm

And left a funny taste.

The lad wondered

If dad would kill him

And dinner might be cold

And eaten



By Daniel Tavet


aiming too highDaniel Tavetinspired by the I ChingMetaphor

◄ Pitch Black Skies


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Daniel Tavet

Thu 23rd Jul 2015 11:16

I'm very glad you enjoyed my poem and saw the lesson/philosophy in it (other people who've read the poem haven't picked up on that). Your feedback is very encouraging and most appreciated. Thank you!

Daniel Tavet

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 22nd Jul 2015 20:05

I really enjoyed this, the interweaving of speech, thought and action. Not to mention 'life lessons' or philosophy? Not sure why you have not received any other comments. I can think of many readers this would appeal to.

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