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my top 20 resolutions

1.neva tew spel a nuther rong werd agahain
2.to stop fucking bastard swearing
3.remember to always wear my rose tinted glasses
-even when asleep.
4.purchase more rubber
for the walls of my special room 
5.extend my sideboard
to fit more poetry awards on
6.have absolute belief
in the fact that everyone on W.O.L is sane
7.always keep refusing rich young guys
offers to take me away from it all
8.do not pour gin
over my cornflakes every morning anymore
9.find a bigger matchbox
to keep my nest egg in
10.be at the quayside 
to welcome the whole world
into my country-till we sink.
11.start considering death
as going to be
a nice long albeit
very very hot holiday
12.give away all my max bygraves Lp's
13.teach the cat to go
through cat flaps
in other people doors
to save me buying it food
14.keep plenty of sickbags handy
for when celebrities
OCCASIONALLY pop up on tv
15.give over crying
about poor suffering bankers
16.make a very strong complaint
about the lack of
cosmetics,sofa's,loans,
and bingo commercials
17.change my mobile phone,
ipad,laptop,
telly,satnav
at least once a week
18.employ a gardner
to take proper care
of my indoor 'farm'
in the attic
20.finally-
learn to stop worrying
and love the BUM!
-my boyfriend!   

ALL THE BEST-WOLLERS!! 

 

 

 

◄ Heres looking up at you J.C.!

precarious foothold ►

Comments

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Rose Casserley

Fri 3rd Jan 2014 20:49

Dave,I am soooo with you on protecting our birdies hence my training the cat to keep them off his menu.You might recognise him if he comes prowling in your area-he'll be wearing a stripey jumper and be carrying a bag emblazoned with 'my buckshee catfood bag!'so do be on guard by the cat flap just in case!One metaphorical pair of rose tinted(bi-focals? square or oval or round?)winging their way to a pair of lugholes near you-cheers again chuck!x

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Dave Bradley

Fri 3rd Jan 2014 08:30

A prize? Did someone say a prize? Oh...ah....right.
Well I don't like gin or cats (kill too many birds), have no awards to polish and doubt whether (sadly) there will ever be a WOL Panto. So it had better be the rose tinted specs. They do come in handy sometimes in this funny old world we live in.
Thank you (-:

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Isobel

Thu 2nd Jan 2014 16:58

I think you're dead right Graham! If you are really serious about a resolution, then you start there and then - I made mine in the middle of December! And the less people you talk about it to the better - unless you are having a bit of fun, like Solar seems to be with this poem :)

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Rose Casserley

Thu 2nd Jan 2014 11:50

you are definitely spot on Graham,they do indeed die a very quick death.Thank you and all the best for deuce-zero-uno-quattro!x

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Rose Casserley

Thu 2nd Jan 2014 11:44

Greetings Francine!I'm hoping your trip into la la land was,despite being bereft of said glasses,rose tinted just the same.I can only dream up another pair and in that dream,place them on your kindly countenance.

Rummed up Kelloggs sound Delish!
let me have the results of your taste-test-please!

Considering the possibility of this islands submergence,I was going to request a vacancy in your Eiffiled country,but you seem to be in the same quandary-stand by with the bath towels!

As to the second 'submergence' NAY!NAY!lass that destination is for sinners like moi-not angels like thee!

Re#18..the 'crop'when matured,will come in handy for the hopefully CRAZY HAZY days of summer-haha! (I jest)

Due the fact I can only speak two languages-
english and rubbish,I think I am right in assuming the last line in your comment means happy new year etc,so I wish you and yours the very same-and with all haste too,before we all end up in Atlantis! hee hee.x

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 2nd Jan 2014 11:06

Strange this. I've just read a piece describing how people who announce their intentions very rarely comply with them. New Year's resolutions seem to fall down in the middle of January don't they?
I'm making mine on January 15th, or perhaps not.

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Francine

Thu 2nd Jan 2014 05:45

I really should be getting my beauty sleep at this hour, however I just couldn’t resist sharing my thoughts before I go off into la la land…

I am with you all the way on #3 – I used to have a pair when I was like 10 years old - they (and I) were so beyond freaking cool ! Can you hook me up with another pair ?

Try spiced rum or Kahlúa for #8 – would definitely taste better! What a kick start to the day! May try…

I totally feel your pain for #10 – we are slowly sinking here too! :’(

#11 - I don’t think I want my holiday to be quite as hot as yours…
I envision a more sub-tropical paradise.

#18 – I can think of ‘other’ uses for an indoor gardner… :-D


Bonne Année – que 2014 soit rempli de joie ! xx

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Rose Casserley

Wed 1st Jan 2014 23:47

if there had have been a number nineteen-
I would have made it a resolution of starting construction of the biggest bloody umbrella to cover and stop the whole of this island getting piddled on any flippin more-enough is enough!

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Rose Casserley

Wed 1st Jan 2014 23:27

cheers and many of 'em Steve,Isobel and Dave (who passed the attentiveness test,as number nineteen was purposely left out-honest!)so Dave you may choose from a range of prizes.

1 a loan of my rose tinted glasses.
2.a bowl of gin soaked cornflakes
3.a thieving cat
4.a can of poetry award winning statuettes polish
5.or a chance to play the arse end of a cow if WOL put on a Jack and the beanstalk panto.
hard choice eh?

happy new year to each of you.x

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Dave Bradley

Wed 1st Jan 2014 22:49

Nice one. Where's No. 19?

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Isobel

Wed 1st Jan 2014 22:03

This made me laugh :)

I think I would add 'only send Round Robins in my Christmas cards if I've got really miserable news so as to cheer other people up by the averageness of their own lives in comparison'

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Rose Casserley

Wed 1st Jan 2014 21:54

thanks guys-enoyed the chat-take care.x

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Wed 1st Jan 2014 17:28

hey you!! not one mention of sending food parcels to old people in need!! fortnum m mason only though if yer dont mind-

good laugh on the top twenny!!xx

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Steve Higgins

Wed 1st Jan 2014 16:05

I was ready for a laugh today -thanks Solar!

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