Jail Writings* (letters to self)
-I dreamt that I woke up in someone else's bunk bed. under the mat I found an array of knives, shanks and "evil" shrine material wrapped up in a mess. Guards dress me like a doll. I guess they found me at virginia avenue in minneapolis. not knowing why is the worst, especially because you were there. drunken idiot.
-even time to waste is no time to waste. always something can be done. all alone in the penitentiary. Death follows me if I am not careful, if I am careful I remain mindful of my canteen. Last night I lost touch, now my shot glass is dry. waking up in jail not knowing why you're here. pondering without a doubt. America is fear. everything but the dream you wish to be living one step at a time… they got ya.
-I will never be an inmate again. I will do right. I have a duty to serve the world. A very important duty that cannot be fulfilled properly while in jail. I will never find you if I am in a cell. I am useless. You will never find me if I am locked up. People will cry, I will cry. The world will sit where it is, while I hear about it from the inside, wallowing in my sorrow. There are no gigs in Prison.
-Let 'em get close, they want a touch. Give em what they want, they take too much. Advantage is the upper hand No holds barred. Grabbed a mic and a pen and became released. No cell + No room can confine this mind that needs to be as vocal as the soul truly wants to be.
-Dont get caught up by your lonesome with a bottle of Kraken. Dampening your brain of all the wise melon. We all have something better to be doing. Kids to be guiding, missions to accomplish. Thoughts to think. "Get Real" says America. How real can I get when all I see around me is a bunch of disrespect?
-Thirsty for soul. worthy of a goal. Youngin turning old. Sliding down the pole. time will tell. Heaven or Hell. Locked up in a cell or in a house where I dwell. Parents don't care. they've seen it before. tugging' at their hair falling to the floor. inside the inmates are as depressing as the Kraken I drank. Real question is, how did I get here?
-all alone on a very nice day, arrested because alcohol and all that could be a cause of something hazardous. FUCK myself. and the problems I've created.
-go home for a week and find a reason to live and don't think too hard, the world won't stop who you are. who are you? no world to stop. go at it with all your might. Get right. Be Polite. Twinkle twinkle little shimmer in your eye full of bright colors.
-Next, best things. Writing writing. adding to probation with a warrant for arrest. I do not remember any of my stress. Picket fences block me out of homes and a fetal garden. Are you Ready to be a burden on somebody's life?Nothing to live for behind closed doors. Lost in a muck of translucence.
-Trust your instincts.
I WAS DRUNK
I had a Dream of getting out of jail in daytime. oncoming prisoners wearing red. Target wristband walking in stair well, 2 cops beat an inmate, sit Quiet kid against wall. walk past juvenile center. young inmates slowly start to look more like me.
-believe that I am here, my fuck ups here only warning me. I wasn't taking my life seriously. Worried about what people think. Grow Up. just be you when you walk into a room. Abundancy of Shit. Be comfortable. Be inspirational. Be immersed. Be sober. Be mindful. Be more than youhave been. think only in the most effective MNtality.
Dreary. Full of digressions. Ancy, to get out/move on. (Surrounded by loss of hope. Belonging to a system.) Sleep. Sleep. Sleep." just stay positive". seclusion. delusion. A grand opening of missed opportunities. No court. yet. wait. wait. Jail. waiting.
-I want what I have and I need what I don't got. Harbouring the feeling of a chat with the P.O. I will not be let out in time for the gig. I tell myself to chill as all the things I do is good work. Sleeping on concrete aint quite as bad as bunk beds with someone you don't know.
Young in the head.
Broken in to pieces
Ready to be who I want to be
a story teller
A modern day Griote.
Better than this progression.
Baked. Nothing better than you in a position of nothing fun.
-Turning a new leaf. Finding a way out of the penitentiary. I've been here and there before. I probably have to go to court again, I probably gotta do more service to the community. I gotta be sober. I gotta be safe, not safe to be safe, but safe to stay beneficial to the Earth. After I get out, it's time for a difference. May 12. April 25. April 26. Missed Gig.
-It's all me. I am all alone. If I want to be someone other than who I am, the only me is standing in the way. I don't need to change who I am, I just need to utilize my abilities, alter my progression rate. It's now or never. Never will haunt me everyday until I become Tomorrow. I need myself to become a more serious HUMAN. Being in jail keeps me in the never.