How To Be Better

How can I be better?

Perhaps a tight sweater -

To flatter my hooters -

Would that make me cuter?

Work smarter? Get fitter?

Expand my grey matter?

Or maybe be muter?

I need a life tutor.


I'll grow to be greater,

A clever debater -

I'll pare down the patter,

And trivial chatter.

I'll learn to write letters,

In elegant meter.

I'll clean out the gutter,

And cut back on butter.


I'll try to be brighter,

In public, politer,

I'll dye my hair lighter,

And bleach my teeth whiter.

Get thinner not fatter,

Eat fish - but not batter,

Be gold - not cheap glitter,

Sound sweet - never bitter.


And when I am better -

Both hotter and wetter -

My virtuous suitors -

Those perfect dictators,

The ego-deflators -

Will tell me I've altered,

And sooner or later,

They'll seek someone greater.

◄ The Cupboard of Death

Stars in The Sock Drawer ►


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Laura Taylor

Thu 4th Apr 2013 09:45

Ha - a romp, as a certain Mr Black once described one of mine

Love it :)

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John Coopey

Wed 3rd Apr 2013 14:48

...and, of course, what Yvonne said.

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John Coopey

Wed 3rd Apr 2013 14:47

Excellent, Charlie.
The only improvement I might suggest is a photo of the tight sweater!

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Yvonne Brunton

Wed 3rd Apr 2013 14:45

I love the way all the planning leads to a putative downfall. The metre races the reader along at rattling good pace - one feels slightly euphoric at the prospect of perfection - until hope is cruelly dashed. Really enjoyed this. XX

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Mikhail Smith

Wed 3rd Apr 2013 12:27

.. very good charlie.p .. I find staring into the mirror for twenty minutes before breakfast does it for me .... then one can tackle anything ..m.s.

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