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'Untitled'

UNTITLED
 
There's a hole in my head.
Where a brain used to be.
It's whole lot of space
and it's troubling me.

At night it get's cold,
When there's nowhere to keep
The warm dreams of dancing,
And songs that bring sleep.

There's a space in my throat
Where a voice used to sing,
But I threw up the words,
And there's no more to bring.
 
 
There's a pen in my hand
It wrote down the lot
From "scholar" to " jobsworth"
"This film's got no plot!"
 
The "Creative" folder
is holding a ball.
With blank paper dresses
And script on the wall.

There's walls in my way,
Where a road once stretched out.
And I keep hitting bricks,
So my brain's fallen out.

 

Lois EntwistleUntitled

MBC ►

Comments

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Harry O'Neill

Wed 1st Aug 2012 13:00


Lois,

Nicely concise...more.

Lois Entwistle

Mon 30th Jul 2012 08:51

Isobel: Thank you very much.
Hugh: Thank you very much.

I am really quite honoured to have such nice feedback for my first post as I am inexperienced and haven't actually performed poetry before.
To know that this piece could be performed and has the words "original" "great rhythm" and "joy" attached has really made me blush! It gives me confidence to continue working towards it. Thanks to both of you.

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Isobel

Sun 29th Jul 2012 20:44

I enjoyed this - it's very original and I loved the play on words.

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Hugh

Sun 29th Jul 2012 17:05

Great rhythm and rhyme and mystery-a joy to read out loud.

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