Ruby Like a Blood Red Flower

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Down beneath the grasslands swaying

Beside the rivers rush and roaring

Growing there a blood red flower

Round brown mice hearts a beating

Scatter beneath the grasslands swaying

Beside the rivers rush and roaring

Where woodland nymphs spin yarn a golden

Weave golden webs from tree to tree

Come them dressed in oak and apple

Come them dressed in leaf and lily

To the place that’s still and waiting

Far below the long stone barrow

Past the old ones sleeping ever

Sleeping with their swords beside them

Over the grasslands gently swaying

Brushed in night silver shining

Shining silver like water music

Upon the cold dancing water

To the furthest wooded glade

Where wild crab apple red as ruby

Ruby like a blood red flower

 

Over the grasslands gently swaying

 

Beside the rivers rush and roaring

◄ Prickle, Thorn and Deepest Thicket

Can You Hear The Drums? ►

Comments

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Augusta Darling

Sun 4th Mar 2012 12:33

Thank you so much everyone for reading and I am obliged as ever for your constructive critiques of my work.

Many thanks once again

Augusta xx

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Poets Corner

Mon 27th Feb 2012 15:37

Nice Thoughts in this Poem...
Nice natural rhythm...
Builds a nice natural pasture picture...only one slight moan...lol - 'over use of the words grasslands and swaying' I feel sure the poem would benefit if other words used?

As long as you are happy with it...that's the main thing - well written though!

My bests - Graham

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John Coopey

Sun 26th Feb 2012 23:49

Where you bin, Augusta? I've had to enjoy the pleasure of my own company for the past few months.

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Philipos

Sun 26th Feb 2012 15:43

Lovely poem which reminds me of the rhythm in Betjeman's Ireland with Emily. Agree with Yvonne's comments but well done you.

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Yvonne Brunton

Sun 26th Feb 2012 13:29

I feel echoes of The Lady Of Shallott and of Hiawatha in the rhythms of this piece and I like some of the imagery of contrasts -gentle swaying/ rush and roaring but my favorite line is'far below the long stone barrow' with its long alliterative vowel "oh" sounds plus the various reppeated consonants. Not at all overdone the phrase rolls satisfyingly off the tongue. The syntax of the last 4 lines rather defeats me ( no finite verb) and leaves me wondering if there's something missing, still to write?

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