A Letter To You Whom I Lost

I smell the death on you like a faded winter,

Trying to smile when misery is screaming at you,

Shrouding yourself in falsities to strangle and suffocate the truth,

But I can smell your attempts and feel how it became uncouth,

I understand your tears and why you used what you used,

Locked yourself in your old room,

Bound for a megre, flowerless tomb,

The doctors can only close your open wounds,

Like books with short chapters which end too soon.

 

We didn't get each other, but it was through our misunderstandings that we came to be understood,

Your tears still flow through my veins, warm as blood,

Because you just took as much as you could,

So your thoughts became heavier and dark as mud,

And we talked over bottles and grolsch and burning bud,

About our purpose being to have an example made of us,

But you slipped through my fingers and I couldn't catch you quick enough.

 

Time stands between me and you now like heat, almost tangible,

An impenetrable barrier that cascades into eternity,

We are silenced scrap of history,

A single frame in a flick book, splashed with red, that is dismissed for better memories,

A sheet of glass-like water seperating us, moving backwards,

Glittering helplessly,

And a figure named forever stands next to me,

With you on the other side,

Slowly turning into a mirror.

loss death friend becoming like you

◄ The end of days.

I want to tell you ►

Comments

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Danny Metcalfe.

Wed 28th Mar 2012 20:02

'Your tears still flow through my veins, warm as blood'

This is interesting. This is my favorite line.

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Dave Bradley

Tue 28th Feb 2012 12:52

Only just found this and have to agree with the others - a good poem which expresses strongly how memories can torture us.

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Adam Warwicker

Sat 18th Feb 2012 17:58

I like this a lot. It's very vivid and emotive.

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Dave D Poet Rhumour

Fri 17th Feb 2012 18:41

Hi Joy, this is a very effective piece - strong imagery and depth of thought that should grab attention on page or stage...

I might have picked out the same lines as Anthony had I got here first, but to those I would add that the last two lines were great thought provokers.

Best wishes, Dave

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Rory Peace

Wed 8th Feb 2012 23:56

I like this, some great imagery which creates a very dark mood. (:

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Joy Claypool

Wed 8th Feb 2012 20:32

Thankyou! I was trying to make it not too obvious, but still work out-able (if that's a thing) that the last line is saying that I lost a mate to depression, he took his own life, and "slowly turning into a mirror" is me looking back at the memory of his and realising that I'm going the same way, I mean, I'm not, don't worry, but I thought it'd be a great idea, haha!
But thanks for your comment, I don't think I set any flowers on fire, did I?

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Anthony Emmerson

Wed 8th Feb 2012 18:12

Hi Joy,

You've used some very arresting imagery here. I particularly like:

"like a faded winter"

"A single frame in a flick book"

both are equally effective.

There's lots to appreciate in this; clever use of rhyming and similie/metaphor.

Although I don't understand why you set fire to the flowers? :)

Regards,
A.E.

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