In Her Passing

 

Now we are truly old.

In the final closing of those eyes,

in the last fitful fluttering of her fingers

and the resignation of her senses to eternity

we have aged, have become her.

 

All that we knew of her –

- that part of her story which spoke our name,

which mingled it with hers

and shared out the years between us –

- has become history.

My childhood’s unblemished face,

my inchoate ambitions and wanton boyish hopes:

all of them windstrewn memories

blown one breeze closer to oblivion.

 

In her death

I see the approach of mine more clearly,

lying in ambush up ahead of me.

She is gone,

taking a part of us with her.

Now we too are old.

◄ Heart's Route/Art's Root

Maiya Via Firelight ►

Comments

stella jones

Mon 23rd Jan 2012 21:52


Yes now we are her..yes, I know this feeling and you write of it very well RM no nits from me. :)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 23rd Jan 2012 19:50

Richie, please know that if I didn't think the poem was really good for starters, I wouldn't even bother with a comment. I didn't pick around my words yesterday. I hope that was all right.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 22nd Jan 2012 18:25

I, too, enjoyed this. But, apart from the 'subject', IMO, I would go a little easy on the adjectives. One good adjective is worth two not-so-apt, and two good adjectives are often overkill, whether for a single noun, or for separate nouns in a single line. EG. 'fitful' doesn't add much more to the idea,and makes the alliteration almost distracting. While 'wanton' introduces 'windstrewn', I think it is too lumpy for its own line. With respect, of course.

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Gray Nicholls

Tue 17th Jan 2012 22:53

powerful stuff, Richie. very moving.

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John Coopey

Tue 17th Jan 2012 19:25

...and sad for your loss.

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John Coopey

Tue 17th Jan 2012 19:25

Powerful stuff, RM.

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 16th Jan 2012 15:45

This is very fine. If I didn't read another poem on WOL, I will be glad to have found this one. On a personal level it reminds me of the finaldays of my own mother's life until her death aged 90...an Edwardian girl who had seen so much and suffered much.

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