Depth Of A Salesman

I did it babe – I’m the new recruit!

The posh bird in the pin-striped suit

Shook my hand and told me straight

That I was the perfect candidate.

She swallowed all the usual lies

And failed to see through my disguise.

I love the confidence I can win

With a false CV and a cheeky grin.


I did it babe – I got the sale!

I went and spun this guy a tale

Of why our products are the best

And said he really should invest.

I dazzled him with market facts

And told him he could claim back tax.

I wonder what he’s going to do

When he finds out none of it’s true.


I did it babe – I’ll get the praise!

My boss has asked me to liaise

With her at lunch, she must be keen

To promote me within the team.

I guess it comes as no surprise;

I’m better than the other guys.

More confident and target-driven

At home with lying for a living.


I did it babe – I got the sack!

She launched a venomous attack

Upon my personality

And said I lacked integrity.

“A successful salesman must

Be able to engender trust.”

And so I punched her in the gob -

Who’s she to say I can’t do my job?


◄ How Not To Receive A Compliment


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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 16th Jan 2012 11:34

Sadly, quite amusing, and always topical. To keep the rollicking metre, I did some personal word jockeying, but not much.

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Ray Miller

Fri 13th Jan 2012 11:42

Nice rhythm except possibly here
I love the confidence I can win
To promote me within the team

and definitely here
“A successful salesman must

Be able to engender trust.”

but maybe that's excusable, different voice. Enjoyed.

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Laura Taylor

Fri 13th Jan 2012 10:00

Hehehe - funny, had me chuckling this one. Who hasn't blagged their way into a job and winged it?!

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