Depth Of A Salesman

I did it babe – I’m the new recruit!

The posh bird in the pin-striped suit

Shook my hand and told me straight

That I was the perfect candidate.

She swallowed all the usual lies

And failed to see through my disguise.

I love the confidence I can win

With a false CV and a cheeky grin.

 

I did it babe – I got the sale!

I went and spun this guy a tale

Of why our products are the best

And said he really should invest.

I dazzled him with market facts

And told him he could claim back tax.

I wonder what he’s going to do

When he finds out none of it’s true.

 

I did it babe – I’ll get the praise!

My boss has asked me to liaise

With her at lunch, she must be keen

To promote me within the team.

I guess it comes as no surprise;

I’m better than the other guys.

More confident and target-driven

At home with lying for a living.

 

I did it babe – I got the sack!

She launched a venomous attack

Upon my personality

And said I lacked integrity.

“A successful salesman must

Be able to engender trust.”

And so I punched her in the gob -

Who’s she to say I can’t do my job?

saleshumourlying

◄ How Not To Receive A Compliment

Comments

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mon 16th Jan 2012 11:34

Sadly, quite amusing, and always topical. To keep the rollicking metre, I did some personal word jockeying, but not much.

Profile image

Ray Miller

Fri 13th Jan 2012 11:42

Nice rhythm except possibly here
I love the confidence I can win
To promote me within the team

and definitely here
“A successful salesman must

Be able to engender trust.”

but maybe that's excusable, different voice. Enjoyed.

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Fri 13th Jan 2012 10:00

Hehehe - funny, had me chuckling this one. Who hasn't blagged their way into a job and winged it?!

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message