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(Very) Random Act Of Xmas Woollenness

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Everyone round at ours, Xmas was beginning to take shape

The cap-

-on in the oven, roasting nicely

Smells pervading,


Knee high in presents waiting to be opened

By the nieces, nephews and the oldies

Even the dog

Had a frog-

-gy toy

He’d been a good boy

Walking proud, barking loud

All year long

And in for a treat, but sadly not meat

Just plastic, slightly less fantastic

For him.

And Mark? He’d been a good boy

Also walking proud, barking loud

All year long



Made of wool???!!!

He’ll never pull (if he even wanted to)

In that thing of a woollen thong

So very wrong….

Of you to knit that for him

He’s not even slim

Enough to wear it!!…

Your son-in-law, my husband.

I just don’t get why!

It made little Bella cry..

…because she wanted to see him wear it

And he couldn’t bear it

The embarrassment..

No wonder he went outside for a smoke!

Ok, yeah, it was a joke..

…I can see that

But hardly appropriate

I mean, how did you gauge the size??!?

With your eyes??!?

Stick to a hat and scarf next time

You don’t need to commit that crime

Ever again.


◄ De-friend, de-friend, de-friend! (87 Year Old Grandma On Facebook).

Fred Goodwin Ate My Hamster ►


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winston plowes

Tue 24th Jan 2012 13:14

Hi Solar. A funny and fun piece. Liked the way you freely play with the words and rhymes. My cats got 2 presents each!


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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Fri 23rd Dec 2011 21:51

My Wife/Granny person Patricia
once made me a woollen willy warmer

It just about fitted
but I still keep on tripping over the end
the bell end that is-heh


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Ann Foxglove

Wed 21st Dec 2011 07:43

I can remember a firend of mine wearing a knitted bathing costume! Went all baggy after she'd been for a dip in the sea. Those were the days! Enjoyed your poem.

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