How do I love thee?
How do I love thee? Let me count t’ways.
I love thee to t’depth and breadth and 'eight
My hands can reach inside your top when going out for t’night
I love thee in shop doorways, in t’shadows out o’t' light
On t’way to t’pub pretend angry and spoiling for a fight
I love thee to t'level of my alcohol beverage
In t’backyard of the pub using t’wheelie bin for leverage
I love thee when you whisper what you’re not wearing
And then uncross your legs just out of daring
I love thee dirty flirting with the chaps
and showing off your cleavage, and perhaps
I love thee best when all dressed up and posing
But, God knows - I shall love thee even better after closing.
With apologies to EBB and anyone else who is offended.