How do I love thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count t’ways.

I love thee to t’depth and breadth and 'eight

My hands can reach inside your top when going out for t’night

I love thee in shop doorways, in t’shadows out o’t' light

On t’way to t’pub pretend angry and spoiling for a fight

I love thee to t'level of my alcohol beverage

In t’backyard of the pub using t’wheelie bin for leverage

I love thee when you whisper what you’re not wearing

And then uncross your legs just out of daring

I love thee dirty flirting with the chaps

and showing off your cleavage, and perhaps

I love thee best when all dressed up and posing

But, God knows - I shall love thee even better after closing.

Julian Jordon

A ‘Soddit’

With apologies to EBB and anyone else who is offended.

◄ Neglect in the community

Spam, spam, spam, spam... ►


<Deleted User> (11485)

Sun 6th Oct 2013 16:56

In heaven, Will smiles.

<Deleted User> (9801)

Thu 10th Nov 2011 14:16

Ha Ha very honest! xx

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Harry O'Neill

Thu 6th Oct 2011 19:49

Masterly management of the t`s

But I`m intrigued...what`s closing...the pub...or?

The girl was only trying to tell you that she wants a set of underwear for her birthday.

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Ann Foxglove

Thu 6th Oct 2011 19:17

I think this is just lovely!

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Greg Freeman

Thu 6th Oct 2011 14:13

Ingenious, Julian! The juxtaposition of "beverage" and "leverage" lights up the day.

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Wed 5th Oct 2011 18:59

Well I suppose I should be offended on behalf of all non knicker wearing females with a cleavage... but I will suspend my offensive and congratulate you on a very witty pastiche! x

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Dave Carr

Wed 5th Oct 2011 17:53

I'm not offended. All t'best from Dave
But EBB poor lass will be turnin' in t' grave.

<Deleted User> (6315)

Wed 5th Oct 2011 17:18

Ha! such sweet thoughts held within Julian :)

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