The Changeling

 

 

There's a change going on I can't see;

is the woman in me dying?

I notice the grays and lines appearing

but something other is steering my course,

the stalk of the Reaper draws close.

 

When the usefulness of my youth is past

will I at last be free

of the three days of madness

when I want to fuck everything

and the unaccountable sadness

when tears spring at nothing?

Though my child-bearing taken years before

hormones still flood,

tormenting that sore empty spot.

 

And when it's done, the change complete

will I miss the oestrogen rush

that would see my push and strain at my mate

until sated with release I can sleep?

Will desire still creep and wanton make me

when hot flushes and night sweats

have ceased to wake me?

Will I still burn furious for the press of my lover

or is this another thing I must lose

to time, which refuses to wait or turn?

 

Will life become colder the older I grow

and passions beat slower in my thickening belly?

I don't want to grow dim,

the lure of skin live without

but no matter my raging this change rampaging

and nothing I do can reverse the trend

though in no hurry am I to find out

regardless my shout to deny this rite

I'll discover what's next, in the end.

Change

◄ The Arriving

For my parents ►

Comments

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Chris Co

Wed 24th Aug 2011 07:00

Subject aside- the language is good to my ear and seems oddly a little reminiscent of sprung rhythm and Hopkins- subject aside :)

Aside

The subject...erm, it seems honest as opposed to depressing or racy. It could have been either and less. But to my mind the context made it- honest.

My Best

Chris

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Laura Taylor

Fri 22nd Jul 2011 09:11

Hardly a 'backlash' Isobel. That would involve more than me, surely? ;p

Well I intend to keep shagging too for what it's worth hehe - as long as I can anyhow.

Haha Ray - you jest, surely, re Men Only comps? Come on then, let's be having one of these here poems about losing erections and hair!

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Isobel

Fri 22nd Jul 2011 08:19

LOL - I knew I'd stimulate that 'Oh no it isn't!' backlash. I was being a bit mischevious with my earlier comment - not really criticising the poem as such. Perhaps I suffer from the same deep rooted anxieties but am in denial.

Yes - there is a period in the woman's cycle when she is let us say 'more receptive' - I've never been more creative during that time though - but then again, I've never had period pains or PMT. We are all gloriously different I think so I intend to keep on shagging till I'm 90 - and no-one is going to persuade me otherwise...

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Dave Bradley

Fri 22nd Jul 2011 02:17

Without disagreeing with anyone else, I have to agree with Laura here regarding the main thing about this poem which is its absolute honesty and courage in facing reality. Something which is priceless and too rarely found in life. What it does with words is pretty striking in places too. One to remember.

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Ray Miller

Thu 21st Jul 2011 21:52

I worry about losing hair and erections, though not in that order. And I write poems about it. But I only enter them in the Men Only Poetry Competitions.
I like the poem, except I found some of the word formulation a bit tortuous:
"the lure of skin live without"

for example. Is it such a taboo subject, though? My missus and her mates seem to talk about little else.Though I can't say I'm familiar with this 3 days of fuck-everything madness.

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winston plowes

Thu 21st Jul 2011 20:51

Nice work petrova....

I think Isobel is prob right, its how you feel inside, but hey I am a mere man.

"Can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
I don’t know
Well I’ve been afraid of changing ‘cause I
Built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older, I’m getting older too"

(Stevie Nicks)

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Laura Taylor

Thu 21st Jul 2011 09:59

I don't find it depressing in the slightest. I find it blindingly honest and courageous, the way it examines all of the things women DO worry about (most, probably all, can't speak for all etc), but no one talks about for fear of being labelled 'old lady' or that horrible 'dried up old bag' insult. The ovulation reference - again, no one talks about this...the time when you are pretty much 'on heat'. Let's be honest here - it feels fantastic when you're in that stage, doesn't it? Albeit all-consuming hehe ;) Tell you another thing about the ovulation period - that's when my mind is sharpest, when I have my best ideas, when EVERYTHING works and falls into place beautifully - so it's not just the loss of the 'wanna fuck everything in sight' aspect, it's the loss of the potentially best ideas and thinking you have.

The silence surrounding perimenopause and menopause comes from this taboo - that you can't possibly mention the loss of libido that may come from cessation of ovulation. I would love to see a poem written by a man which discusses the pros/cons of ageing, from a male perspective, with THIS much honesty, and without comedy to lighten the taboo. The best poetry, for me, strips all the bullshit away, and gives it to us BAM in the guts.

The poem ACCEPTS ultimately that this is happening...that nature cannot be denied no matter how much you want to, that it must be faced head on, to meet what is going to happen with dignity, self-knowledge, and acceptance.

I absolutely LOVE this piece, have to say. It's my favourite of Petrova's so far - blew me away at the Tudor. And so well performed, too.

Thanks for finally putting it up Pet!



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Isobel

Thu 21st Jul 2011 08:54

I find this a bit of a depressing one. I wonder if men worry about losing hair and erections. If they do, they don't seem to write about it.

I think you're as old and as sexy as you feel inside. The menopause and hormonal changes will only define us if we allow them to. There is life after most things - but maybe I'm too much of an optimist!

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