Twisting Knives

Shards of jagged memory slice

sharp through foraging fingers

finding discarded pieces of pain

between the forgotten relics of kinder times.

Points pierce a blistered mind,

removing the splinters is agony;

the pull of each barb merciless in its wounding.

Digging deeper, the truculent fractures imply

rupture at further delving.

Blood drips onto gray striations

slides slick over senses; a red poison

robs will and numbs emotion;

when nothing expected disappointment

pays no call, penalties avoided.

 

Cannot afford this poverty;

must suture each severed nuance

pull together the rent heart's tatters;

love may lie bleeding but not dying

not while breath lingers in crenellated towers.

Tug free the slivers, brave the tremours;

tomorrow answers memory's questions.

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Comments

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Chris Co

Sat 16th Apr 2011 15:43

Shards of jagged memory slice
sharp through foraging fingers
finding discarded pieces of pain
between the forgotten relics of kinder times.

The above is superbly poetic Petrova.

For that alone this is a great poem.

My Best

Chris

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Laura Taylor

Tue 22nd Mar 2011 14:34

Excellent - love this. Favourite lines:

Digging deeper, the truculent fractures imply
rupture at further delving.
Blood drips onto gray striations
slides slick over senses; a red poison
robs will and numbs emotion;

and 'cannot afford this poverty' - oh yes, I know that all too well.




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Anthony Emmerson

Tue 22nd Mar 2011 11:11

Hi petrova,

And thanks for your comments on "alpha et omega."

Some very "surgical" references here, ending on a shred of hope.

Particulaly liked:

"suture each severed nuance"

I'm a sucker for sibilance!

I think you could possibly do a little judicious pruning/tidying - but hey - they're your words!

Regards,
A.E.




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Elaine Booth

Mon 21st Mar 2011 20:30

Many strong lines here: "forgotten relics of kinder times" / "truculent fractures" / "slides slick over senses". Just one suggestion: should it be "when nothing's expected disappointment / pays no call"? Liked the alliteration used to slide lines 1 into 2 and 2 into 3. xxx

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Francine

Sat 19th Mar 2011 20:30

Some painfully strong descriptions here, but I like the intensity. This line shows resolve... 'love may lie bleeding but not dying'.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 19th Mar 2011 16:54

Good sustained metaphor. 'between the forgotten relics of kinder times' is very forceful. I especially like 'Cannot afford this poverty'. It's hard to know when painful memories are being sorted and 'discarded', instead of being actually nurtured for some kind of self-sadistic pleasure.

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Dave Bradley

Fri 18th Mar 2011 22:57

Strong and well-written Petrova. The poem hovers around the perenially fascinating interface between suffering and motivation. One of your best imo

And thanks for commenting on No Point; Point - always appreciated, even when I don't say so

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