Leaving of Liverpool.

 

from the pier head we put

to sea - past the hybrid

cormorants which pass for

liver birds and screeched at

by the gulls which swooped

on swill – me swaying with

the ocean floor - then through

the irish sea enough to turn

the stomach of an iron man

 

john paul ringo and george

we left behind to rhythms of a

different kind and pummelling

of mighty waves then in the

warmer climes flying fish

which landed on our lifeboats

got shellacked and later

taken home to awe-struck

friends and next of kin

 

and yet the memories have

just begun the frenzied storm

which stove all our lifeboats

in and afterwards arriving at

recife where ladies of the

night were waiting at the

quay and yelling out bambino

in such a manner as to say

push off you - i saw him first

◄ Airport Encounter.

Muntjak. ►

Comments

Profile image

Ann Foxglove

Wed 12th Jan 2011 07:17

Great poem - last verse is my favourite. Like the cormorant/liver bird image too!

Profile image

Philipos

Tue 11th Jan 2011 14:52

Hi Cynthia - thanks for the suggestion and I have taken out the line you said which does give it a slightly sharper edge - obliged indeed

Profile image

alan barlow

Tue 11th Jan 2011 13:04

hmmm seems like we are consistently grasping at seperate ends of the stick philipos, i meant it felt like it turned into a dockers tell and that they were or had returned to the shore to the open arms of the ladies of misadventure

Profile image

Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 11th Jan 2011 12:52

This is good, with some super images and strong rhythm. IMO, I would take out line 7 in stanza 2 as not really needed for the 'dying' idea, and thus gain a format of 9 lines per stanza. Just a thought; this poem seems to be a 'plan', since the 'turns of the verses' seem quite deliberate both for visual effect and recitation.

Profile image

Philipos

Mon 10th Jan 2011 20:20

Hi Alan - not sure where you got the dockers from - the ladies of the night were hookers or did I misunderstand what you were referring to - good to hear from you again though

Profile image

alan barlow

Mon 10th Jan 2011 20:09

i originally started ready with a suspicious nature in that the scousers were going to take a bashing again and then let myself settle down to the fact that i was to read about a (ferry trip dont know why)and then ended up reading about dockers, i feel worn out !!

i liked the liver bird reference though ;-)

Profile image

Petrova Fairhurst

Mon 10th Jan 2011 18:54

I do like the rhythm of this Philipos and the internal rhymes that are few but enough to give the whole pieces a nice flow. Particularly like "pummelling of mighty waves" being a lover of the sea in all her moods & a scuba diving instructor the nautical theme resonated well with me :) x

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message