Second Skin

Let me continue to wear you

                as I wear you now,

your scent beneath my painful clothes

stirs again sensation and blossoms bright

the memory of that moment

          and that moment

                    and that moment

and the final ache of your tears

                          as we subside.

 

                                       Days later,

only society's demand for hygiene

can have me disrobe you;

with soap replay your hands,n>

remove each trace of silk

that burned, branded me yours.

 

I count the days until my eyes

can again feast

              upon your dishevellment

as from your form you once more

allow me to unbutton your soul.

◄ Rewind

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Comments

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 11th Jan 2011 13:41

You are a fine writer, Petrova. I'm glad you are on board here, for our enjoyment.

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Laura Taylor

Tue 11th Jan 2011 10:25

Now then Isobel - mud wrestling you say? Oh go on then. You're forcing me into this though ;D

Petrova - post anything up that you want to. If you're not happy with it ultimately, you can always remove it. When I first joined here (and still sometimes this happens) I put something up that I am really not sure about, then get wonderful comments! Just do it ;)

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Petrova Fairhurst

Mon 10th Jan 2011 18:09

Thank you all so much for your comments. I'm so glad I posted this now, I have another on the same theme and I wasn't sure which to post. Your encouragement has boosted my confidence to trust myself when it comes to writing what I feel and in whose voice, whether it is apparent or not. I guess sometimes its easier to say something from a different perspective and safer too. xXx

Janet Ramsden

Mon 10th Jan 2011 14:57

I wonder if there wasn't an image and you had only used your surname or an alias whether anyone would actually question if it was written by a male or female. I think that this poem shows the real beauty in the use of 'I' :-)

I really enjoyed reading this.x

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Julian (Admin)

Mon 10th Jan 2011 13:54

If societal is what you writ, societal is what you meant.
Don't play to the crowd; and don't listen to me.

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Isobel

Mon 10th Jan 2011 13:46

ps I prefer society's - it seems more natural on the tongue - flows better.

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Isobel

Mon 10th Jan 2011 13:44

Yes - I like this one too - and think it can apply to male and female - though I imagine women not wanting to wash for different reasons. The smell of sex preserves the memory and the moment. I imagine women would be more prone to want to preserve that memory. It is probably blasphemous to say that though and me, Laura and whoever else will probably end up mud wrestling to thrash that generalisation out....

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Laura Taylor

Mon 10th Jan 2011 11:01

Yes, I think it could go both ways too. Interesting...it's usually the bedsheets I don't wash ;)

I would have had no problem with 'societal', but 'society's' fits well with 'hygiene'.

Love these lines:

'with soap replay your hands,
remove each trace of silk
that burned, branded me yours.' and 'your scent beneath painful clothes'

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Andy N

Mon 10th Jan 2011 08:11

interesting poem, petrova - particularly like the first few lines here (although it's all good)... i took it as a female perspective for some reason oddly enough (in contrast to your comment) which just goes to show.. lol x

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Petrova Fairhurst

Sun 9th Jan 2011 21:06

Cheers for the feedback, much appreciated. Societal is now society's :) x

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Antonionioni

Sun 9th Jan 2011 20:29

It certainly could be a male reaction not to change for days on end. Disappointing though because I was hoping some females do this as well, but perhaps not. Enjoyed, it notwithstanding 'societal'!

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alan barlow

Sun 9th Jan 2011 19:29

the first thing that struck me about this write was the structure of the text it reminds me of one of those chinese styled helical paper or bamboo lanterns. i have to admit and its not a slight but i too got to societal and stopped pretty much dead i think mainly because its a word ive not come across before and secondly i found myself referring back to it when i shoeld have been continuing the read, probably a pointless comment being as i dont have the answer and in part probably down to my own ignorance. i didnt guess it was from a male stance at first either but that was perhaps in part for the reasoning above? i like the write though on the whole thanks

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 9th Jan 2011 19:12

"society's"? "expected"? "obedient"? It's hard isn't it! If you like it, stick with it! I always do! x

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Petrova Fairhurst

Sun 9th Jan 2011 18:29

Thanks Ann, what would you suggest instead of societal?

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Ann Foxglove

Sun 9th Jan 2011 18:13

I loved it except maybe the line
"only the societal demand for hygiene". That word societal jars with me. I think it's great to experiment, and to think yourself into someone else's body, and indeed, soul.

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Petrova Fairhurst

Sun 9th Jan 2011 18:09

This piece is written from a male perspective, Ive written a few this way, not sure if it hits the mark but I enjoyed the experiment :)

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