The Girl With The Night In Her Eyes

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After years of searching,

yearning, wanting

I found her,

the girl with the night in her eyes.


She told me


Beware of red boxes

they are not for you

they will drag you down

into doubt and greed

you will be better in the blue box.


And I will dance no more for you

not even in your dreams

for you could never dance the tango

and your salsa is a skit from hell.


So go now

be gone,

and remember

do not return to Venus

for you are not welcome,

their is to much of

Mars about you,

to much blood on your hands

to much fear in your mind

for you to ever be my lover.


◄ Graffiti

Passng of the Moon ►


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bernard shelton

Thu 13th Jan 2011 00:25

Janet thanks, your comments reflect in some way what I feel about this piece, it is "different" from what i normally write, From my point of view I think it one of the best I have written, but still don't understand what the bugger is about!!!
can you understand/see that Janet!

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bernard shelton

Thu 13th Jan 2011 00:19

Cynthia, I am really pleased you liked this, not my normal style or subject, but to be honest one of my own favourites, gone outside the box with this, and as i said one of my favs, don't know where it came from Cynthia and it needs work, but I like it , lol, lol

Janet Ramsden

Mon 10th Jan 2011 15:35

I found this quite haunting. In my understanding Mars and Venus represent opposites that have an attraction. The only way they will ever survive together is by losing their past and communicating in the future. Sounds like hard work but relationships often are :-)

Sorry i went all starry eyed and my comment may or may not be of the nature you intended to receive but that's me.x

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bernard shelton

Sat 8th Jan 2011 21:53

Thanks Cynthia, feel i need to get rid of the first to stanza's and start again, what you think!

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 7th Jan 2011 20:35

Very interesting. Note: there is too much Mars about you, too much blood....too much fear. Loved the connection of the two planets, their mythological allusions and 'the girl with the night in her eyes'.

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