Black dog

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At the tender age of fourteen
I acquired this unwanted pet
it's followed me round like a bad smell
everything's bad about it
I don't even have to call
and it's there at my feet, 
pawing and clawing at my state of mind
I find it hard to keep my composure
when the black dog's upon me.
 
The ravenous beast, it eats me up
cometh the hour, cometh the blow
I know there's no predicting when
it rears its ugly head and strikes
no respite, even in sleep
dreams shattered, torn apart
by the heavy paws upon the bed
dragging at the bed-linen
craving my attention.
 
The black dog of depression
steals like a thief
no energy, no appetite, no zest for life
no remorse as it runs its course
try to ride it out as best I can
kick it out the back, into the cold
bolt the door before it's too late
but it'll be back, gnashing and snarling
before you can say Prozac.

depressionillness

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Comments

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John Aikman

Sun 26th Dec 2010 21:56

A tricky one to critique. The 'Black Dog' is, by now, an enormous cliche...qv Winston Churchill's 'Black Dog' and Nick Drake's 'Black Eyed Dog'...and hundreds of other uses of the metaphor. So, I'd go with Phillipos and suggest there's no point adding the word 'depression' as the two are synonymous. Also (being picky here) 'steals like like a thief' is a tad clunky....that's what thieves do. Why are beasts ravenous and why are heads always ugly?

Personally, I'd have loved it if you could have brought your fabulous sense of humour to bear on the subject of depression...now, that would have been a triumph.!

:-)

Jx

PS How's about a poem...'Vibrating Back to Happiness'?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSg1Z4AwDCw

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S.J.

Sun 26th Dec 2010 16:27

Southport, Alan? lol S x

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alan barlow

Sun 26th Dec 2010 00:00

when i first saw the title black dog i have to admit the first thought that came to mind for me was led zep (being an admirer of their music for sometime now) and it took me a read or two to wash it out but i can see similarities in this write being an ex fluoxetine, mirtazapine (and some other cack) prisoner at a time in my past i can relate to the "the heavy pasw upon the bed". i like this write a lot ;-)
regards a fellow scouser (well woollyback really lol)

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S.J.

Sat 25th Dec 2010 23:16

Banksy, I bloody love it! S :) xx

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Banksy

Fri 24th Dec 2010 21:32

You look very nice - even for a scouser :)
BTW - do you know the difference between a scouse girl and a KitKat?
Yes - you only get 4 fingers in a KitKat......... (sorry)

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S.J.

Fri 24th Dec 2010 21:22

I actually think the dog is prettier than me hahaha xx

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Banksy

Fri 24th Dec 2010 21:21

Jeez - if you look like that, I'm definitely coming back as a vibrator - (for all I knew you woz a Widdicombe lookalike :D ).
Not much consolation if you're on the meds - just a bit of a laugh.
Tried a couple meself & not for me. I guess mine wasn't bad enough, cos the meds were infinitely worse. Hope you get well soon & (fingers crossed) have a Merry Xmas. B

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Francine

Fri 24th Dec 2010 17:55

I feel for you...
You express your thoughts clearly and creatively in your writing. I wish you love and peace of mind.

xx

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S.J.

Fri 24th Dec 2010 17:37

Writing is my therapy. Sertraline is my medication (allergic to Cipramil, so I have discovered) haha xx

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S.J.

Fri 24th Dec 2010 15:45

There is definitely some depth of thought to be gained from being in the Cipramil club :) S x

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Philipos

Fri 24th Dec 2010 13:45

Hi SJ I thought this well put together - although you didn't need to actually use the word 'depression' in the final stanza I would suggest 'black dog steals like a thief' as your intro in stanza 3. As Stephen Fry would argue there are actually creative benefits that accrue with black dog issues and you deal with these quite powerfully I think

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