In a state of madness

overtaken

by the chaos 

of this life

having failed

just a little 

at meditation 

panic finds me

again

bile rises

to the back of my throat

for a moment 

I am certain 

this is the end

 

I look around

to the wind

stirring against my face 

to a small wooden window

standing open

in the corner

I edge closer

 

Through it

the green

the vast blue

the red fence 

the white cat

the fresh orange

resting on the ground

 

One thing

then another

 

I reach 

like I always knew how to

like I've done this

a thousand times before

into a calm

I never knew existed 

 

Everything remains 

the green

the blue

the red 

the white

the orange

and somehow

so do I.