It's rated by many as Yorkshire's Top Dog

It doesn't have Michelin stars

Instead by the side of the A61

Its flag bears the sign of five cars.

It's just outside Wakey and serves cordon bleu

That Ronay bloke wouldn't believe

You'll soon spot the owner in his greasy smock

He's known as old Scoop-It-Up Steve.

 

It's said that he ventures the dark woods at dusk

With his sidelights and headlights turned off

Hoping to top up his freezer for free

With red deer or maybe its calf.

His signature dish is badger, I'm told

You're lucky if it's on today

It's not like he buys his meat in to order

Down at the Roadkill Cafe.

 

And Steve hates to see God's pets suffering pain

And if by the kerb one is laid

Cos some careless motorist winged it and so

He'll finish it off with his spade.

The pie is to die for (it certainly did)

Struck by his Ford Cabriolet

But maybe it's squirrel or your neighbour's dog

For lunch at the Roadkill Cafe.

 

What you might think chicken is blackbird or crow,

Squashed pigeon or even a jay;

It's no good you asking, he'll just tap his nose

Down at the Roadkill Cafe.

When word gets about his “Special” is on

The gourmets will bring in their wives

His feral cat flan is a rare treat indeed

For all cats are blessed with nine lives.

 

It doesn't appear in the Good Veggie Guide

Though he did try once serving hay

But Scoop-It-Up Steve's a real wildlife fan

When it's dead

at the Roadkill Cafe.