I pride myself on living by a code from days gone by

When gentlemen were gentlemen – at least, I always try;

But times and attitudes have changed from when I was a youth

I often feel quite left behind; this verse will offer proof.

 

While shopping at the local Spar I’d bought a thing or two

And patiently I waited for my turn within the queue;

I stood behind a woman, quite attractive, I confess

She may have come straight from the gym, from what she wore, I guess.

 

I thought she looked so pretty, quite the modern day young mum

But noticed that her leggings made a wedgie up her bum;

And all of us will know this is uncomfortable at best

I thought she might be grateful if her comfort I addressed.

 

So gallantly and chivalrous I pulled the gusset out

To my surprise she then spun round and gave me such a clout;

I mumbled my apologies and, so to make amends,

When she turned away from me I pushed it back again.

 

It’s hard to be a gentlemanly dinosaur like me

These days when gallant virtues are no longer thought PC.