What Shall We Do with The Drunken Spider? 
 

What if strawberries were lemons

And lemons were limes

If the moon was a square

And the sun shone at night time

Or if it rained upside down

And the trees clowned around with the bees

I chuckle to think of the frogs wearing crowns 

But anything’s possible if you turn sight into sound

I once heard a melon could stand on one leg

And that horses danced on their tails

While eating yucky green eggs!

You say tuh-MAT-oe but I say tuh-MAH-to

At least we agree that it’s always po-TAH-to

Now. I know you are thinking, this woman’s a nutter

Please stick around cos it’s gunna get worse

Let me tell you the story of a base jumping spider

I met him one night when I was cleaning my larder

He sat down beside me and asked for a sip of my cider

Who was I to deny my newly found friend!

So I gave him the bottle and also my pen

As the evening wore on I realised my error

Slurring his words, he announced “I’m a Shake-Spuh-rien!”

It soon became clear that the drink made him a terror

I’m scared for my life if I break my promise to him

And that’s why you are now reading

His award winning poem! 🕷️🕸️🕷️

-William Drunken Spider in collaboration with C.Kinnaird.- 😂