(With an enormous nod to John Prines's"Whistle and Fish")

 

I'd like to think I'd led a good life

Brought two kids up and I daren't beat the wife

Never carried a gun, never used a knife
But is that enough for Heaven?

Weighed on his scales neither bad nor good

Could I have done better? I'm sure that I could

But if I lived again not so sure that I would

And anyway, what's in Heaven?

 

Angels with harps is a fine sight to see

Thankyou very much but they're not my cup of tea

And all of them virgins they're no good to me

But I hope that there's biscuits in Heaven.

 

Wagon wheels and Jaffa cakes

Custard creams and brownie bakes

Shortbread, penguins and Heaven knows

What kind of Heaven lacks Oreos?

 

Angels with harps is a fine sight to see

 

The thing I look forward to when I die

I hope to meet that Jesus - he's my kind of guy

But best of all there'll be no need to buy

Chocolate biscuits in Heaven.

 

Angels with harps is a fine sight to see

 

Angels with harps is a fine sight to see