Praise the Lord Our Gert is on the wagon

Yes, tell the world Our Gert is off the booze

She's found it tough at times when she's been gagging

But says that “it's the lifestyle that I choose”

She says it's for her health

And she's dead proud of herself

So beat the drum and tell the world the news.

 

“From now on I drink tea with a biscuit

I really wouldn't thank you for a gin

And even coffee,well, I wouldn't risk it

The caffeine might entice me back to sin

And if you've got no tea

And there's nothing else for me

Then I'll suck it up and take it on the chin”.

 

Our Gert's embracing her salvation

Though abstinence was never her thing

She's dealing well with her deprivation

And those daemons that cold turkey brings

She'll hum that temperance song

“Come Home Father” all day long

And beats her tambourine as she sings.

 

Our Gert has given up the bottle

She hasn't had a drink since 2010

Yes, Our Gert has given up the bottle

She hasn't touched a drop since 2010

“It's 20.30” now she says

“That's half past eight to you” she says

So now it's nearly time for one again.

 

“It's 20.30” now she says

“That's half past eight to you” she says

So now it's nearly time for one again.