My 'Future'
I'm scared.
I'm scared that I won't get to live the life I have always envisioned in my head,
See all the sunsets by the beach, and in the mountains, and in the salt flats.
When I'm asked about my future, I don't think of kids, and marriage, and office jobs.
In my 'future', I'm still young, and making mistakes,
I'm taking cheap flights with my friends and we're running across the beach barefoot even if we're terrified of the crabs.
In my 'future', I'm still finding myself,
and I'm working as a waitress, or a barista,
and I'm going home happy because I just got my first paycheck (it's 20 dollars, but it's mine).
But I'm 21 now, and my 'future' should be my present.
I'm 21, and for almost 8 years now, I've been praying for the same future,
and with each passing year, my 'future' is being left behind with my past.
Because now I'm 21, and in my future, I'll be 30,
and I'll be expected to have already found myself,
and I won't be happy about my first paycheck being 20 dollars,
and we'll have kids, and marriage, and office jobs,
and I'll have to leave my 'future' in the past,
and I'll have to make peace with it.
