(A public information poem.  Physiologically accurate although I have used plain language for the baser of you.).

 

“I come from the back of beyond”

A saying from over the pond

I've heard it before

In cowboys I saw

A phrasing of which I'm now fond.

 

Because of my large prostate gland

When I take the old soldier in hand

Because I'm no hunk

These days my spunk

Refuses to shoot where |I planned.

 

When I played with myself on the bed

I'd often shoot over my head

Like salmon they'd leap

A memory I'll keep

Precious until I am dead.

 

After a couple of yanks

I now conclude all my wanks

To find as \I came

The pleasure's the same

But literally I'm firing blanks.

 

I've taken all this in my stride

It's something you'll note |I don't hide

My ejaculation's

A marvellous sensation

Fulfilling, although it has dried.

 

At first this had me dismayed

To not see your efforts displayed

But doctors decide

That Finasteride's

The cause of this shoot retrograde.

 

It seems that your seminal load

Get's sown where it shouldn't be sowed

But enters your bladder

Because it had had a

Reversal down the wrong road.

 

It's perfectly harmless is this

And makes its way out when you piss

The feelings the same

The instant you came

And doesn't detract from your bliss.

 

So one day you'll play with your wand

Try not to end up feeling conned

You might think things bleak

Cos it no longer leaks

But you come from the back of beyond.