my mind is slowing down
less drinking keeps me sound 
I battle everyday 
this night demon that plagues me 

dwindling my money
each purchase seems so small 
until i'm left with nothing at all 
brain is impulsive as a default 

but everyone tells me
"it's not your fault" 
yet I'm supposed to fix myself
the patterns and habits subtracting from my inner wealth 

it's comfortable to remain the same
eventually, life indeed becomes a game 
where strategy is utilized 
while showing emotion leads to compromise 

they say the observers know it best 
while the chatters are living with less 
how do I conquer and clean up my mess 
everyday, a blank slate 

now, hand me a cute dress, 
as I slowly but surely 
dissociate