those bright smiles that used to light up 
every room 
were slowly replaced with fake grins
narrowed eyes and pursed lips 
sighs and eyes rolls 
tightened up body 
closed off mind 
diminishing my shine as if it would return yours 
yet that didn't work 
it only served to make me run 
run, and run, towards a pub down the road 
unwelcome in my own home 
I'd stay out, perpetually alone 
hoping that bright smile would somehow come back 
we never made a pact
to make it last 
It was assumed that we'd always get along 
this illness and it's propensity for instability 
reminded you of a painful life
one that you ran from 
without seeing its full outcome 
a few articles made you an expert 
on what dominated my very existence 
except you became the gatekeeper 
of every assumption, decision, and intention 
my condition became an umbrella 
shielding you from your own trauma 
A great way to avoid the truth 
while you zeroed in on my supposed flaws