Let's Go Boldly

Rishi - forget about cosying up to the EU on the Northern Ireland Protocol, where's Captain James T Kirk when you need him? There's a risk taker if ever I saw one. He won't pussyfoot around  with endless meetings and parliamentary sessions.

He'll disregard received  wisdom based on pure logic from Spock. You'll never get your own Starship that way Spocky! Perhaps you should pin back your lugholes and listen to the Captain instead of pouring cold water on everything.

He'll ignore the caution of Dr McCoy. Bones, why do you constantly undermine the Captain's authority by calling him Jim in front of the crew? Get back to the sick bay where you belong and leave the rough stuff to the alpha males!

He'll insist on warp factor 9 when Scotty tells him 'she cannae take anymore Captain'. By the way Scotty, after three years at University followed by years with Starfleet why do you still speak as if you've just arrived on the Govan bus?

When the shields are down he'll feign dead then surprise the EU with a couple of well-aimed photon torpedoes to their starboard side. And when all else fails, with phaser set to stun he'll beam himself aboard the EU ship and engage Ursula von der Leyen in a good old-fashioned fist fight, extracting concessions on tariff-free trade on goods & services without free movement of people.

Now let's be honest, can we see Our Rishi doing this?