I’m English; from Cambridge; adult male.

I’m ‘privileged’, ‘cos I’m blue-eyed and pale:

De facto a racist,

Homophobic, misogynist.

But I repent: now I’m African female!

 

So I’ve written my own dictionary,

In which race and sex arbitrary,

Mean I can bear twins,

Wear real leopard skins,

Whilst frolicking with unicorns and fairies.

 

I met the Red Queen at her Palace,

She asked: “what’s your name, is it Alice;

Where are you from?”

I said: “The Kingdom,

Of the Rabbit Hole of Ignorant Bliss.”

 

She insisted: “I’m sure your name’s Alice,

That’s what we were told at the Palace!”

I replied: “who I am

Is a lover of jam,

And I want jam tomorrow, with scallops!”

 

Said the Red Queen: “I know your name’s Alice!

And your brothers are Gromit and Wallace!”

I said: “that’s on Sundays,

And sometimes on Phundays,

When I phorget I was born with a Phallus”.