I still think of you, all these years on,

from all those years we had. You

used to make us sleep with the light

on and I still do – for it feels like

switching that switch will flush

the past down the drain. That’s where

years of writing went when at the end

of our time together, you said “I don’t

want to be in it.” So I could only bin it.

All those times we went off exploring

just “to look at trees,” as you put it -

on the premise that “there should

still be room for Nature in the Future...”

I remember that I did document a

lot of it - but it’s gone. There were

inward journeys too, like a poem is the

opposite of a bus ticket - and I remember

when we drove into the Lakes from

some other place and I wrote down

every sign along the way for a poem -

how semantics is a road sign not a place!

Well, that too is gone – all the love

poems gone - and there were, well, poems

born of recreational drug use for

the sake of literary experiment, and it’s

all gone - under Gondwanaland like

the pollen, under the green hill like

the ecstasy pill. For it was all for you,

and you are no longer in my new life.

There was even one about the neo-London

skyline as a part of the Tube service,

but I was with you when I wrote it

so it too is gone. Even the dreamwork

diary I kept won’t work with you gone.

At least some of the melodies remain;

but I’m too old to make it as a pop star,

prance round in a vapid pose suitable

for the rebellion of youth – no, it is

as a poet that I wish to leave my sting.

It seems unfair that I was faithful, and

it’s all my work that’s now destroyed, but

I suppose it could be worse: I could have

grown homosexual through the onslaught.

Maybe I did and just don’t know it yet.




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Sat 8th Oct 2022 19:36

Thanks Tom, for your lovely remarks. It means a lot to me that you read my stuff. 😎

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Fri 7th Oct 2022 13:36

I love the line "a poem is the opposite of a bus ticket" - a fascinating read. I very much enjoy your style of writing; freewheeling and unpredictable. London Flashback is great too.

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