Your car's too wide!


Your car’s too wide!

It’s blocking off the street!

The gap you’ve left is such a squeeze

And I have people whom I need to meet.

I can’t get through, because of you!

Your stupid car’s too wide!


Its shiny steel is chromium.

It takes up most of the road.

It’s guzzling too much petroleum,

Our planet will explode!


You talk about the environment

How you love seals and whales,

But you drive around in a ten-ton truck

And cause the muck that we inhale!

Making the traffic all get stuck!

I’m making a stand!

Wide cars should be banned

And given zero compensation!

No, you can’t have a dispensation!

Your car’s too wide.


We know, for you, it’s a source of pride.

Your car’s too wide!


You got some tinted windows

We can’t even see inside.

We know you have some secrets there

But what you got to hide?


Is that car a symbol of your vanity

To stimulate and massage your ego?

Or a phallic substitution

To mask your failed libido.


The earth is now in a terminal fight!

Don’t minimise our planet’s plight!


Still, so long as you’re all right!


Your car’s too wide!




◄ Poetic Licence

Kindness ►


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John Botterill

Mon 10th Jan 2022 09:21

Thanks for the like Ursula. Much appreciated. 😊

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John Botterill

Sun 9th Jan 2022 23:46

Thanks for the like Holden. Much appreciated 😊

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John Botterill

Sun 9th Jan 2022 23:33

Thanks for the lovely comment Stephen A. Greatly valued 😊
Thanks also for the like Hugh😊

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Stephen Atkinson

Sun 9th Jan 2022 21:24

Written with skill & humour. Love it

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John Botterill

Sun 9th Jan 2022 17:53

Thanks Leon for your response! Very funny!!! 😂
Personally I would never be so brave.
My bravery is the sort which is exhibited when using a keyboard haha! 😀

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John Botterill

Sun 9th Jan 2022 17:50

Thanks Stephen. I don't remember that particular episode but I admit my whining tone is of that ilk! Your praise is much appreciated 😀

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Sun 9th Jan 2022 17:25

Hi again John, Yes it can be sooo annoying when inconsiderate people cause these kinds of problems.

I once got flustered upon seeing a car parked in my space in front of our house and not being able to control my anger, bawled out ' in the street , whose ! car is this!!?

a neighbour came out and said ' oh sorry, it belongs to a gentleman who is just visiting me'

to which my reply was ' well tell him to get out here now!
then the visitor came out and being a quick thinker while suddenly going very weak at the knees I said.....

oh hello Mr, Tyson, I was just wondering if you would like me to wash your Ferrari?

When I came out of hospital I decided that buying a pushbike might be a good idea 😂

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Stephen Gospage

Sun 9th Jan 2022 16:55

This is brilliant, John. I love the rhyming. Reminds me a bit of the Hancock's Half Hour episode - 'Is that your car outside?'.

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John Botterill

Sun 9th Jan 2022 16:16

Thank you for the likes, Tom and Julie. 😀

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John Botterill

Sun 9th Jan 2022 15:00

Thanks MC. I was in full Grumpy Old John mode when I wrote this, but I fully agree with your points, too!
Why do cars need to be wider? Surely we need to use fewer of the world's resources!

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M.C. Newberry

Sun 9th Jan 2022 13:22 easy to recognise in today's overcrowded streets! I can
add to this complaint my own moan about the drivers who -
(a) don't seem to be able to judge the size of their own vehicles
when passing or parking...,and
(b) the drivers who park so close to an already parked vehicle
that the latter is prevented from moving away through lack of room to manoeuvre.

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