Show me Your Love

I’m running but I’m not moving anywhere 

Can’t fade away

That’s always been my prayer 

Without Jesus

I would have no oxygen 

I would have no air

I’ve counted to many restless nights

Hoping it won’t be one tonight 

He says knock

And He will open the door

But to many times

I’ve been chained to the floor

Not being able to knock 

Satan whispers

That door is locked

I try so desperately 

To find the right words

Words of repentance 

Hoping wanting needing

Acceptance 

Will I be lost forever?

He tells me 

Heaven

I will enter never

But then I remember

I’m a child of God

And one day I will stand

Next to his shiny Rod

But for now

I’m left with all these emotions 

They run as deep as the blue ocean

The emotions hold me back

Causing my life 

To replay over and over

In slow motion

I stand on the bridge and throw my lucky token into the sea

Watching it fall freely

As it hits the waves

I immediately feel a bit brave

Thinking

If I jump from this bridge

How long would it take for my limp body to sink?

Fast

Everything now would be

In the past

So I jump 

My heart 

Starts to pump

Pump out of control

Gasping for air

Threw a tiny hole

Instead of sinking 

My body floated to the top

I swam as fast as I could

I didn’t stop

And then Jesus

Threw me his anchor

Without any anger

Just pure love

His love rescued me

He reminded me

That with him

I am free

Life won’t always be easy

And at times I might feel

An easy

But He Promises 

To always be there

To hold my hand

Reminding me one day

I’ll be in his holy land

Though I question and argue

Will I make it

Am I good enough?

My life has been more than rough

Satan right there to call

My bluff

The morning comes

Sun is shining 

Birds are chirping

But I’m crying

Because my soul 

Is slowly dying

I try my hardest to cling to his words

Open my window and listen to the birds

In awe of his creation

His spirit is my hydration

God over all nations

Racing thoughts on replay

Can’t seem to change the station

It’s as if it’s stuck on replay

Lord where did I go astray

They say love is everything 

Though the only 

with true love

Is the King

Just to think

He died on the cross

Without even one blink

All for the love 

He had for me

Yes me

All He wanted

Was for me to be free

But Somehow my wrists

Are bound in handcuffs

When will it be enough?

The night creeps in

My head sinks into the pillow

Heavy and full of sin 

My tears run down my face

Lord I need You

To run this race

If You say I have You

Why do I feel as if I’m walking alone?

My eyes blood shot

Stuck in a deep zone

Yet you see me

Way up from your throne

Another chance I beg for

As I knock at His Door 

Gazing out my window

At the stars

Daydreaming wishing

I didn’t have these scars

But the reality 

Is that I do

Will I ever find healing 

That is true

I look down from the shiny stars

Just to realize 

My soul is stuck 

Behind bars

The enemy whispers into my little ears

Filling me up with all different kinds of fears

I can feel the heat of his breath cover me

Like a camp fire on a cold night

My happy thoughts for some reason 

So far out of sight

It’s another one of those long lonely nights

Where I’m terrified 

an full of fright

I throw myself on my knees again

Full of agony and pain

I cry out

Lord deliver me

Deliver me from myself 

I promise You I’ll take the Bible

Off the shelve

And read till I can’t read anymore

I know my life was meant for more

Lord Teach me

Show my eyes

What you want me to see

Break my chains and set me free

Free like a bird flying through the skies

Remove the wet tears from my eyes

Teach me to treat others

Kind and Nice

I want to love others like you love me

Love is the only thing to set me free

True love is beautiful 

Soft sounds from a musical 

Love resembles a soft white dove

Jesus hung to the cross was Love