Biography
59 years old male, at sea for thirty-five years, lived in New Zealand, Japan and Singapore. Now in Cottingham which is a suburb of Hull. Psychiatric nursing for ten years. Got a small leather bound dictionary at about ten years of age inscribed with "From reading comes knowledge and from knowledge comes wisdom". I believed it and have never had a day when I have never read. Unrepentant punk rocker. Poets I love are Joe Strummer, Lynton Kwezi Johnson and JCC, Sam Hunt and Auden. Ginsberg and Beat. Dylan. Poe. I'm also a devotee of Camus. An existentialist to the bone. I have no god. Ive always "written" something but I started writing with intent last year. I wrote/write as therapy and communication with people around the world who are in our lives. I have manic depression and was diagnosed with PTSD a while ago in darker days which colors much of me as person and my thoughts and ways of thinking. I lost my only son to bone cancer at eighteen years of age three years ago, writing became my "letting it out". It still colours much of what I write. Although sometimes many call my poems "sad" they've missed the beauty which is often within. Which I find frustrating. I also write a lot of autobiography based upon my experiences and those of my family and friends. I realise my work can be considered "course" on occasion but its also real to me and the life that has shaped me. Ive done two... five open mic nights now..... Lot of talented people in Hull to learn from. Lots of talented people on here and find it frustrating I miss so much. Its not by intent.
Samples
When I dance in my minds eye with angels. And fear being deserted and alone. I saw the old woman in the church yard saying another goodbye at the same stone painting another farewell scene of ancient love. And I don’t fear that which lies beneath the grass deep in soil and farewell clothes and trinkets of memories sent on a journey of hopeless hopes and boundless groundless prayers for salvation and loss so much loss. And pain so much pain endless pain. To walk on the path and see transcendent light floating in the midst of the mind just out of sight. I envied the ones whose certainty opens the eye to believe. Then I met an American who told me about Adam and Eve. And thought about my mum and dad who couldn’t eat fruit because of the war. And thought that an apple was a poor excuse for revenge and saw the humour in a god who played these games and thought he is a joker. And then laughed at the stupidity of certainty that still makes us ponder mans duality. A fight for life that dances around and around forever. But where does it go as we weave our paths? Where are all the loves we never met? Everything all of it everything all of it. There in the wavering past which dances To its own long written tune and sings the song That tells us we have to live on in the future time of unplanned but unbound limitless deceit.
All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.
Blog entries by Phil Kay
The nameless. (15/04/2019)
Soul? (11/04/2019)
Take the ugly things. (08/04/2019)
(untitled) (06/04/2019)
24 hours of love Gas Town Vancouver. (06/04/2019)
Manic Depression (03/04/2019)
The Rock (02/04/2019)
The Anti Shanty (30/03/2019)
Son (30/03/2019)
(untitled) (29/03/2019)
Read more entries by Phil Kay…
Blog link: https://www.writeoutloud.net/blogs/philkay
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Comments
Phil, thanks for your appreciation of my work. I like your work too and the oblique way you express language.
Hi Phil,
thanks for your comment on my profile regarding your poem "Tonight"
You hit the nail on the head when you said no great insights reveal themselves on such occasions, only the deepening of disconnection and numbness. The sensible among us would desist from such behaviour, it seems I do not fall into that category.
All the best Phil,
David.
You're a gentleman Phil with that comment. I do try to be impartial and non judgmental and impart respect as a matter of course. Not always easy here I'm afraid, and sarcasm can come to my rescue.
Cheers. Ray
Wow, Phil..young or disinterested, or whatever the excuse, I have a hard time believing that such dramatic events are somehow irrelevant after the passage of only a few decades. I mean, it isn't as if the events in Chile after Allende was overthrown occurred in some sort of political vacuum. Central and South America were hot for quite a while. That said, I believe there's much more to it all than the "disinterested" would care to know.
I'm glad to see someone write about these things..there's no good reason for such bloody history to be so soon forgotten.
elP
Thanks Phil - Some great lines in the poem above! Paul
thanks for the kind and supportive comment on 'Xenophobe' Phil - glad you liked it mate
Ian
Hi Phil, thanks for your comments about Black Lung...very much appreciated.
David
Morning Phil
Yep, just read the addition to Granddad - spot on, well worth revisiting it for the edit. So poignantly observed. My nan stopped with my grandad, though he was a total bastard to her. That's what women did back then, eh?
Oh and hey - nice to meet a fellow Thatcher hater haha :D Tis a shame you're in Hull otherwise I'd have said come to the book launch.
God, the gig was amazing, I'm glad I've managed to do justice to it with my review :) No, he didn't do that one - but I will look for your poem.
The trick with performing is to practice til you're sick of it, til your mouth knows it. Take your paper up with you so you can read from it if you need to. And always take a nice deep breath before starting. Remember that no one wants you to fuck up, they only want to support you. Open mics are wonderfully supportive places cos everyone knows how terrifying it is. It gets easier the more times you do it, honestly. I spent the first two years of performing wanting to evacuate from every orifice all day beforehand :D It's a massive buzz though. And that's why we keep doing it to ourselves!
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Becky Who
Thu 4th Apr 2019 21:07
Hi Phil, thanks so much for commenting my "Lie with Poetry". I've been reading some of your poems - your writing hits hard and keeps it real, I really admire and appreciate that. Looking forward to reading more and exchanging more.