Just here to share some of my writing and to learn from others!
“Futility’s Grip” There in the distance, I feel it coming on. Hoping for the forgiveness Of a cheerful birdsong. Is this existence, I’m hiding from? Some sort of Self-sabotage. Wandering beyond the expanse; The desecration, The happenstance. Are we victim to it - Does it choose us? I can’t be convinced That I am blameless in all of this. There in the distance, I feel it coming on. A planet on fire - At the mercy of casual self-destruction. We return to our original form; A feeble star to the Sun. There in the distance, I feel it coming on.
Letters to the Dead and Dying, In Memoriam of Mary Page
"Letter I: Denial" There's a cruelty that resides in me It loiters in my vacancy Takes up space, Stays for free. There is a hollowness - I wade in it I wait for time to stop and start again, Until it doesn't exist. I have no sway, It goes in the direction of me - It follows, unwillingly. She left me here with demons, I can't ward them off - Without her protection; Her presence, resilience, and undying affection. Her resounding influence, That challenged everything I am, Or will ever be. Who am I now, in her absence? Merely taking up space in her vacancy. "Letter II: Anger/Guilt" I would have given her my youth - If she could have kept her soul. I would have taken her pain; Her frail, dying body, Her demented brain. The morphine cocktail that kept her locked inside a dream - Or some endless night; Some purgatory in which her children take delight In packing up her life - All while she still resides somewhere in-between, Unconscious, but not unseeing. Will she forgive us for our trespassing? "Letter III: Bargaining" "Part I: Mary's Bargaining ("In transit")" I know she's in transit, There's nothing that will beckon her back. So many questions I have, So many questions unasked. Death, like a well meaning friend coming to take her in - A friend whom she suspects may misbehave, Or rescind its invitation. Either by turning the other cheek, or looking away From the prolonging of her suffering. She resists its temptation, She resists giving in - For fear it may pull a fast one. I wonder where she is right now, In this space in between. The road diverging beneath her feet; She tries to keep her balance between two separating planes, Falling to her knees in a state of surrender. Part II: A Granddaughter's Bargaining ("Renewed") Stupified. Wondering how life can be so dispassionate and cruel; That it can stop so suddenly and yet force us to continue forth. I want her to go in grace and peace, To go earnestly And wake up renewed, on the other side of the sun. With all she ever needs; Free of ailment, Free of disease. I know she begs for death to welcome her - Let it take her in. Let her swim freely in that water, And once again, be someone's daughter. Let her be regenerated. Let her come back as a flower beneath my porch, Let her be resurrected. Let her become again, herself, Tried and true. Let her become everyone, and everything, Renewed. "Letter IV: Depression" She's in my dreams every night, She stays with me in my darkness; The place I go to delay feeling, The place I go to avoid light. But still I crave her forgiveness, Though I feel it isn't owed to me. How can I go on this way - Without her acceptance? Without knowing? "Letter V: Acceptance" Since she left, she's come to me in dreams, And sudden waves of emotion. I know she resides within me now, I feel her in the undercurrent of every moment. - A sudden rush; Flowing through me, A disembodied source of love. Something that does not exist in a physical form And cannot be defined thereof. It preserves my heart through its grief And convinces me to not take up residence in despair. She delivers me to the other side of the night And promises not to leave me there. Despite the cracked window, and the beckoning light, She remains here.
All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.
Blog entries by Katherine Lockridge
City-Dwelling, Unwillingly (22/05/2023)
Winchester's Mystery (26/03/2023)
Impatience, Prudence (24/03/2023)
The Defender (24/03/2023)
In the Midst of Dying (20/03/2023)
The Silent Toll (19/03/2023)
Blog link: https://www.writeoutloud.net/blogs/katherinelockridge
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