Brian Maryon
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Biography
My poems are observational generally, with a liberal amount of poetic licence where required. They rhyme, mostly. My influences are Sir John Betjeman, Pam Ayres, Clive James, Spike Milligan, John Cooper Clarke, Roger McGough, Alexei Sayle, Benny Hill, Jake Thackray, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Victoria Wood
Samples
SHE'S HOT STUFF At eight o'clock this morning as she was getting changed suddenly, with no warning my wife burst into flames I shouted for my daughter who stifled the screaming then doused her with water which resulted in her steaming We buried her by the garden shed Her face had lost its lustre She told us that she wasn't dead but you know...you just can't trust her! ON HEPTONSTALL MOOR He was fourteen she thirty four but that did not matter as they went up together onto Heptonstall Moor He the pupil he that she taught each day in school and that Sunday morning on Heptonstall Moor He a child in the eyes of the law She made him a man in those erotic few hours on Heptonstall Moor She was voracious demanding much more He young and virile did as instructed on Heptonstall Moor Feeling much taller than he'd felt before His mind so much broader as they made their way down from Heptonstall Moor WESTONBIRT ARBORETUM Arriving en masse in Barbour green middle class mummies in SUV's with kids named Willow, Sky and Breeze allergic to various nuts and cheese and designer dogs on ten foot leads (tripping hazards for OAP's) pooping in the fallen leaves beneath the beauty of the trees MRS MARYON'S HOLIDAY She gets on her lounger at 9 and doesn't get off till 5 Sometimes I have to poke her to check that she's still alive But what if she does stop breathing? What would I do if she's dead? Should I rush to re-marry or just get a parrot instead? Let's face it, they don't eat as much They're less of a pain and easier to train NAN'S FINAL MATCH You’ve bowled your final match Your woods are packed away The season’s over The greens aren’t fit for play. You played a good game You got the bias right But it was one end too many You just ran out of fight. So goodbye Nan. We love you. You are one in a million. Now enjoy your cup of tea Safely back, in the pavilion.
All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.
Blog entries by Brian Maryon
Martin's Missing Sweatshirt (20/02/2019)
The Magnificent Seven (?) (18/02/2019)
Martin's Knee (17/02/2019)
The Man Upstairs (15/02/2019)
Everything You Need to Know About Gloucester (08/02/2019)
Ronnie's Pants (and so is his bowling) (05/02/2019)
Men & Ven (25/01/2019)
All The King's Horses And All The King's Men (23/01/2019)
RTA A149 NORFOLK (18/01/2019)
Last Night's Brexit Vote (16/01/2019)
Audio entries by Brian Maryon
We Don't Move Very Much (08/12/2018)
A Minor Roasting (24/11/2018)
Banjaxed (17/11/2018)
Waiting to Leave Home (10/11/2018)
Westonbirt Arboretum (01/11/2018)
Going On A Demo (27/10/2018)
Uncle Seamus (22/10/2018)
Unhappy Hunting Ground (18/10/2018)
SOAP : Corrie (15/09/2018)
Chicken Bhuna (25/08/2018)
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Comments
Thanks for your comment Brian on my unusual chess match
Mon 11th Feb 2019 17:06
Your samples are the best of your work I have seen so far. I somehow missed them.
Have you just added them?
Po
Hey Brian, that was great.
In particular the verse on WESTONBIRT ARBORETUM.
I could really visualize those middle-class wankers with their fancy-named spoilt kids.
Keep it coming !
Dave
Mon 14th Jan 2019 11:53
I take credit for the poem...
i also take the blame!
wink.
Sat 12th Jan 2019 21:52
WESTONBIRT ARBORETUM
This is bloody masterful mate.
I wish I wrote it.
I am trying to catch up
Po
Hi Brian
Merci
The Joys of Doing a Jigsaw
You'll notice that this poem doesn't rhyme.
The jigsaw nearly drove me crackers. Xmas pun intended.
Tue 1st Jan 2019 03:55
The girl next door
what can I say
when she saw me
she moved away!
Hi Brian
I'm truly flattered if/when anyone takes the time to comment on something I've written.
So thanks.
I'm a big believer that if I write a poem that rhymes, it should also have a rhythm. I also find that it makes it more suitable for reciting.
Again, thanks for your interest
Mon 17th Dec 2018 18:21
With Christmas just around the corner,
your name should be "MerryOn" !!
wink.
Mon 17th Dec 2018 18:14
I prefer the Dark Ages.
Things were slower then,
including the mail. 😃
Hello Brian - I commented on your "First" blog yesterday
(Saturday) afternoon but now it seems my wit has not been
appreciated on WOL and is nowhere to be seen.
Humour is not always a laughing matter, it seems.
Fri 23rd Nov 2018 14:52
People seem full of life
But they're dead behind the eyes...
You my friend have eye for detail and a voice for much much more.
Po
thanks for the comments on 'a poppy in winter' Brian - I do think the amount of poppy colours is getting a little silly - but the red is for remembrance and the white is for peace and the rest is for personal choice - the very thing that was fought for - so I'm OK with it - better to remember something than nothing at all
Ian
thanks for the comment on 'that which autumn leaves' Brian - an oldie but goldie adapted from a short story I wrote years ago
Ian
Thu 1st Nov 2018 23:00
are you allowed a cell phone
in Jail?
How's the reception?
(all those metal bars.)
wink.
Thank you for reading This Lonely Journey Brian..xx
thanks for your comments on 'a sting in the tail' Brian - yes it's got a buzz honey :-)
Thanks for the comment Brian...xx
Hi Brian thank you for commenting on I Protest you are hilarious..have a nice evening with her indoors...😂
Fri 26th Oct 2018 13:59
when you board a plane
do you have Maryon luggage?
wink.
Thanks for your insightful comments on 'Blood Brothers in Arms' Brian - I'm pleased you liked it
Ian
Thank you for reading 'How' Brian I hope you are keeping your daughters dog well walked...💕
Hi Brian, Thank you for reading my Saturday contribution... Always appreciated..have a nice evening. Taylor 😊
<Deleted User> (17045)
Thu 11th Oct 2018 10:34
Hi Brian.
Haven't been on here for a while now, (Natures put a block on my creativity) so I missed your much appreciated recent comment. Apologies for this belated reply.
Ken.
<Deleted User> (19836)
Sun 7th Oct 2018 19:02
Thank you so much Brian for commenting on my POTW and for your continued support. I really do appreciate it!😊
Thanks Brian for liking my piece "I can tolerate Death". I like your work too! Writing about the things you love and doing it your way, without being pompous and pretentious makes you pretty unique! Kudos!
Mae
Fri 21st Sep 2018 02:25
I did not think tennis boys went shopping.
nor poets.
But Brian "Me" that is its 'its'.
And I know that you will
shiver with recognition
because of your poignant
humour.
Tommy
(It's all me, me, me Tommy!- Brian's post) tc
Sat 15th Sep 2018 11:26
Dec got rid of his ants?
what does that mean?
is Dec male or female or trans?
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Stephen Mellor
Tue 19th Feb 2019 12:11
Hi Brian
Like and comment much appreciated.
I hadn't truly realised what I was doing until it was carefully pointed out.
Today, I shall attempt to stay calm